


Bloom

by Argentum_Aurum, simplycec



Series: Ellipsism [1]
Category: Purple Hyacinth (Webcomic)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Royalty, Angst, By divergence we mean really divergent, F/M, Heavy Angst, Moral Ambiguity, dylan aint in this fic but he’s still dead, fluff if you squint
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-12
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:06:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 14
Words: 25,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24670519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Argentum_Aurum/pseuds/Argentum_Aurum, https://archiveofourown.org/users/simplycec/pseuds/simplycec
Summary: As captain of the royal guards and Lauren’s personal guard, Kym Ladell was the definition of loyalty and everything that represents it. Her will to surrender pieces of herself became her greatest asset, though she knew no bounds to sacrifice. Perhaps it was the existence of William Hawkes that became her greatest downfall, though that bore no weight compared to the growing grace of lingering regrets that has yet to leave her.
Relationships: Lauren Sinclair/Kieran White (background), William Hawkes/Kym Ladell
Series: Ellipsism [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1804564
Comments: 6
Kudos: 79





	1. Introduction

_Started: 12.30.19_

_Ended: —_

_IMPORTANT  
—in order to understand the format, read this—_

_This idea originally came from Soph and Eph saying in a podcast that in the original story, Lauren and Will were supposed to be dating. Ara and I were talking about writing a story together so we poured over a bunch of prompts before settling on a royalty AU. The story will be split into three different arcs._

_You’ll know when you enter a new arc if the beginning of the chapter has a quote (new quote = new arc)._

_The first three chapters are mere exposition chapters that lead into the main story which will start after the third chapter, meaning that the first three are simply “filler chapters”, hence why there are so many time-skips throughout them. The main story (starting in chapter 4) is all set in a single year (set three years after the third chapter)._

_( some chapters will have music. Play them, they add to the mood. )_


	2. Introduction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“She took a step and didn’t want to take anymore, but she did.”_  
>  — Markus Zusak
> 
> If anyone had asked her, Lauren found it rather painful to sit through. She knew her uncle and guards weren’t happy about it either. They knew how vulnerable it made them all, especially after recent events. But it was tradition, and to stay on favorable terms with the other kingdoms, this was necessary.

She was sixteen and he seventeen when they met. Her birthday had come and gone in a blur a couple days prior, and her kingdom had thrown a ball to celebrate their princess’s coming of age. All of their allies were invited to come, and most, if not all, attended. 

If anyone had asked her, Lauren found it rather painful to sit through. She knew her uncle and guards weren’t happy about it either. They knew how vulnerable it made them all, especially after recent events. But it was tradition, and to stay on favorable terms with the other kingdoms, this was necessary. 

Still, it had only been an hour and already she had to go through hundreds of conversations with nobles she could barely recall the names of, not to mention the _many_ different suitors vying for her hand, half of which more than triple her age. 

A marriage such as that could never happen as long as she had her sway, she knew that. Yet cold fear still traveled down her spine whenever noblemen tried to pull her aside.

And as if the devil himself heard her thoughts, from the corner of her eye she saw a noble striding towards her.

“Why, if it isn’t the lovely princess of the hour!” Lord Evans stepped in her path and bowed lowly in front of her. “I couldn’t help but be drawn to your alluring presence. I must say, you have my deepest condolences for the tragedy that has occurred in your kingdom.” 

Lauren gave a tight smile and a slight nod in return. 

“I thank you for your flattery and your continued support for my kingdom, Lord Evans.” 

“Why, there’s no need for gratitude! I’m only doing what needs to be done, and I assure you, the entire _pentarchy_ was looking forward to finally get a glimpse of our beautiful princess of St. Clair. Has anyone ever told you that your eyes are stunning orbs of pensive gold? Nothing in the grand Ardhalis treasury could compare to those spheres of sight.”

One of the guards next to her began coughing loudly while the other glared daggers at the Lord. Neither seemed to deter him as he stared at her in anticipation for her reply. She had smiled and shook her head. 

“No, sir, you would be the first.”

He puffed out his chest even more at the praise. 

“Well, that is truly a tragedy in it of itself. Why, if I were in the position, I’d make it law to always compliment your golden balls of sight every da-“

“My good sir, if I may intrude for a moment.” A hand lightly wrapped around her wrist, and Lauren turned to see the son of a Duke she couldn’t put a name on. “It seems that the two of us haven’t been acquainted as of yet. I do regret asking this of a man of your high standing, but if I may pull her aside to introduce myself, it would mean the world to me.”

Lord Evans glowed at his praise and bowed once more. 

“Why, I wouldn’t mind at all, your grace. My respect for you and your family is boundless, after all. Which reminds me-” 

He pulled her away to the dance floor before the lord could continue. 

“Sorry for that. You looked uncomfortable, and when I heard what he was saying, it seemed like you needed a way out,” He said as he led her into a waltz.

Lauren shook her head. “I assure you, you don’t need to apologize. Thank you for your help back there.”

“No need.” His gaze drifted around the room. “You know, I’m realizing now that that noble vying for your favor may not be unusual for you, given the way most everyone in the room is staring at us. Not to mention the guards glaring at me who I assume are yours. I hope I wouldn’t be overstepping to assume you’re of royal descent?”

She nodded. “Lauren Aevasthar, princess of St. Clair, the immediate heir to the throne.”

Surprise colored his eyes as his gaze snapped back to her. “William Astaire, Duke of Hafoc. You have my deepest condolences for the tragedy that has befallen your kingdom, and if you need anything from Hafoc, I’ll work my hardest to see that you get it.”

She was not unfamiliar to the cries of sympathies from nobles, nor was she unfamiliar with the lying pitch of their words. However, something in the Duke’s voice, the openness in his eyes made his words genuine. 

Already she knew that meeting him was the highlight of her rather dull night. 

She smiled and bowed her head to him. “Thank you, William. You’ve truly no idea what that means to me.” 

The song faded out, and they stepped away from each other. He bowed to her, and said, “I hope we see each other again, princess.”

“Likewise.” She walked back to where her guards waited. 

“That boy you were just dancing with seemed nice,” Liam said, grinning. “He definitely looks a lot better than most of the other nobles asking for your hand.” Her other guard elbowed his side at that, giving Liam a deadpan look. “What? It’s true and you know it, Andrew.” 

She let out a small laugh and shook her head. “He was definitely the most interesting part of tonight, though some might think that statement is unfair given how dry this ball and its guests are.”

The blonde let out a sharp laugh and grinned at Andrew. “Hear that? Even Lauren agrees with me! Seems not every girl is too distracted by your looks to pay attention to your abuse to your loving best friend.”

Andrew groaned and rubbed his forehead. “Don’t even joke about that. I still have nightmares that one of these noblewomen will try to kidnap me to marry them again.”

They all shivered as “the Incident” came to mind.

Andrew shook his head. “Anyways princess, gotten any assassination attempts since we last saw you? Feel lightheaded? Unusual pain? The sudden vomiting of blood?”

She rolled her eyes and opened her mouth to answer but before she could, Liam and Andrew stiffened and stood at attention. She knew who was behind her before she heard his voice.

“Lauren, I finally found you.”

She turned towards him with a tired smile. “Hello, uncle.”

“Walk with me. We’re long overdue for a proper conversation.” He began walking, and she sent an apologetic look to her guards before following him.

Tristan hummed under his breath, before tilting his head at Will. “You seemed to hit it off with that son of a duke earlier.”

“He was easily one of my favorite guests this time around,” Lauren said nonchalantly.

“Does he beat Lord Derias in favoritism?”

“Not yet. But if he doesn’t try to kill me, he may.”

He laughed at that. “You’re going to hold that over the poor man’s head until the day he dies, aren’t you?”

She grinned. “As long as he remembers.” 

The conversation trailed off after that, with her uncle fiddling with the buttons on his sleeves. 

“Are you doing well, Lauren?” He finally asked.

She nodded. “I’m coping just fine. Enough to make it through the rest of this party.” 

“Coping isn’t interchangeable with being well.”

“It’s good enough for today.”

“And tomorrow?”

She paused for a moment before saying, “Tomorrow I do whatever else I can do to live.”

~~~~~~

Soon after, she was called to rule in her parent’s absence.

She chose her uncle as regent. 

~~~~~~

She sat outside in the gardens, her book in hand as her eyes flitted across the pages but not taking in any sentence or word. She was completely alone, lacking her usual flank of guards, and though she found it unusual, she didn’t comment on it.

“Lauren?” She glanced up from her book toward her uncle who appeared beside her. “I’d like you to meet someone.” 

He gestured beside him, though there was nothing there except for the vivid emerald of grass. 

“Boo.”

The young royal jolted at the whisper beside her, whirling around to find the source. 

A girl stood, blue hair and caramel eyes paired with a smile so bright the sun would have cried in envy. 

For a moment, she saw _him_ in that grin.

“This is Kym Ladell. From now on, she’ll be your personal guard. She’ll also be taking place as Captain of the Royal guards,” Tristan explained, wrapping an arm around the girl. “Now you won’t need a horde of people surrounding you at all times. Isn’t that great?”

Lauren nodded, half-dazed and half-shocked. Maybe a bit confused as well. Nonetheless, she returned the grin.

“It’s my pleasure to serve you, your highness.” Kym curtsied before her, though her thin form did not seem like that of a typical guard. Especially one for royalty.

“I trust you two will get along,” Tristan commented, shooting his niece a considerate look.

Lauren only nodded, peering back at the short girl before her. Her guard, and the new Captain of her kingdom’s army. She didn’t even know who she was. 

Kym smiled, crooked and with the grace of a lingering tragedy. Her kind honey eyes were alight with a sense of duty.

Lauren didn’t know who she was, but perhaps she’d like to.

~~~~

“Princess, I’m going to be honest with you. This has got to be the most boring hours I’ve ever spent in my life.”

Lauren sighed, but she couldn’t disagree. Even when she had Liam and Andrew’s familiar presence beside her, finding ways to lessen the celebration’s dullness was difficult. Kym had been her guard for about a week, and while she definitely didn’t dislike her, she couldn’t find ways to grow closer with her like she did with Liam and Andrew, who were standing guard near the walls instead of by her. 

“I want to argue with you, but right now I’d do anything to leave here early.”

She couldn’t even remember what was being celebrated, just that she was required to be here. It had no differences from most of the others. The only distinct thing so far beside from Kym was that the suitors were significantly less than when she first met Will, but it was still a substantial amount. 

While she wasn’t officially obligated to be there the entire time, it was expected for her to attend close to the whole time. She wasn’t ecstatic about it, to say the least. 

Listening to Kym’s judgmental mutters about different nobles while she made polite conversation did make the boredom a bit better.

“I don’t know much about color coordination but I just know that that dress clashes horrible with itself.”

“A _bird_? Who puts a bird in their hair?”

“If this is the height of Ardhalis fashion, no wonder we have to join together. Other kingdoms probably want to kill us just for the sheer amount of ruffles and stripes here.”

“He’s slightly handsome, but it’s all immediately ruined by how twattish his face looks.”

That got Lauren’s interest, and she stepped away from her current conversation. “Slightly handsome? That’s the highest compliment you’ve given to one of the guests here. Which one is it?”

Kym gestured with her head towards where there was a slight commotion, and Lauren saw Will, him trying to wrestle a short woman with a very extravagant hairstyle off of him. They locked eyes, and his face brightened when he saw her. He finally managed to push the noblewoman off of him before starting to head towards her.

“Lauren, how-“

Before he could finish, Kym was in front of him, eyes narrowed. “Who are you? What do you intend to do with the princess?”

Lauren put a hand on her shoulder and eased her back. “Kym, it’s fine. He’s a friend from another party before this one.”

“William, this is my new guard, Kym Ladell. Kym, this is my friend, William Astaire, a duke of Hafoc.”

He shook his head. “Just Will is fine.” 

Lauren smiled. “Will, it is.”

Kym’s eyes shifted back to Will, an obvious sense of distrust lingering in her scrutinizing glare. 

Will frowned at that, before turning to Lauren. “Do I want to know how you two met?”

“Probably not.”

“Of course,” he sighed, before smiling. “Anyways how have you been since we’ve last met?”

“It’s been-“

“Princess Lauren Aevesthar, it’s an honor to meet you, your royal highness. I’ve been waiting for this moment for a long time.” A man bowed lowly in front of her. Lauren inwardly sighed. Of course, she couldn’t have a single conversation with someone she actually wanted to talk to.

She put on a demure smile and curtsied in response. “Thank you, you’re too kind. If I may ask for your name?”

“Krist Schaeffer, lord of the Schaeffer house. We are deeply moved by your loss and wish for you and your kingdom’s swift recovery.”

Lauren wishes that she couldn’t hear the telling pitch in his voice that betrayed the lie. “Your words mean so much for me and my kingdom. Your support is irreplaceable.”

“And there’s the politeness and tact that you are ever so praised for. But I hope you know you have my _utmost_ respect for choosing to give your uncle your authority instead of taking it all for yourself. Your modesty in acknowledging that you as a ruler wouldn’t be as wise as letting your uncle rule is something to be acknowledged.”

Kym stiffened beside her and opened her mouth to say something, only to be beaten by Will.

“Lord Schaeffer, I mean no offense, but the princess and I were just in the middle of a riveting conversation. If there is nothing else you wish to say, I ask you to let us return to it.”

He jerked back for a moment before he recovered and bowed again. “Very well, young duke, I shall allow you to continue your conversation. I hope that we'll be able to speak again, and for you and St. Clair’s continued safety and prosperity.” 

_Lie._

Kym narrowed her eyes at his retreating figure. “I don’t like him.”

Will mirrored her stare with one of his own. “He definitely wasn’t a wonderful guest to be remembered. But he’s a duke, and while he may be completely insulting and dense, he’s still working for the good of Ardhalis.”

“I don’t know, something about him seems off.”

“Kym’s right.” They snapped their heads back towards Lauren, surprised. “There’s just something about the words he said and how he said them.” 

Will’s eyebrows furrowed together before he sighed. “You’re not wrong there. I trust your judgement Lauren. Yours too, Kym. If he were to come back again, I’ll try to run interference so you can avoid him.”

She bowed her head. “Thank you.” 

Will was true to his word. Schaeffer attempted multiple times afterwards to get close to her, each attempt leaving him more frustrated than the last. Still, every time he tried, Kym or Will came up with an excuse to get him to not. Liam and Andrew figured them out quickly and even helped them come up with ways to keep him at bay. One of them involved the noblewoman who’d tried to get her hands on Will earlier, to his dismay and Kym’s joy.

“Come on William, it seems that she likes you a lot! I think she’d made a great-“

Will pinched the bridge of his nose while vehemently shaking his head. “Don’t. Don’t you dare finish that sentence.” 

“You’re just scared that it’s true,” Lauren laughed and watched as his expression morphed from annoyance into one of betrayal. 

“I can’t believe this. I thought I could trust you.” 

Kym slung an arm around her shoulder. “Nope. She’s on my side, loser.”

He rolled his eyes, but before he could reply, a throat cleared behind him. He turned, and a guard was standing behind him. 

“Your grace? It’s time to start the journey back.” Will looked outside and sighed before turning back to Lauren and Kym.

“I’m afraid I have to go.”

Kym raised her eyebrows and Lauren tilted her head, looking at one of the clocks on the wall. “This early? The ball still has over two hours before it’s over.”

“Yes, but I have to get back in time to make sure my mother is okay.”

“Is she well?”

“She’s-” he pressed his lips together. “-been better. But I’m sure she’ll be well soon. It’s nothing you need to be concerned about.”

Lauren stared at him, before asking, “Are you going to be okay?”

He paused, before smiling. “I can handle it. Good luck trying to keep away from Schaeffer. Some of the comments he made while Kym and I were keeping him away were...concerning. A couple of the guards are keeping an eye on him.”

Lauren nodded, and Kym glanced at the noble in question. His hair was slightly more frazzled, and he kept on pulling at his sleeves. She frowned and turned back to Will.

“Goodbye, loser.”

He sighed. “I hope you get fired and I never see you again.” He turned to Lauren. 

“Goodbye, Lauren. I hope for your safety the rest of the night.”

“And yours too.” She bowed her head, and watched him follow behind his guard out the door.

Afterward the party mostly passed by in a painstakingly slow blur. Quite a few noblewomen immediately left as soon as Will did, so there were fewer people Lauren was obligated to talk to. She and Kym were making polite conversation and slowly counting down the minutes until it’d be socially acceptable for them to leave when Schaeffer ambushed them.

“Your royal highness, at last, we’re able to talk!” His voice was frazzled, and Lauren took a small step back. Kym’s hand strayed to her side where there was undoubtedly a knife there.

“Well, Lord Schaeffer, I’m listening. What is it you wish to speak to me about?”

He grinned, manic pulling the edges of it. “Oh, it’s nothing much. Just a few topics and issues that I-” he glanced at Kym. “-would rather speak to you alone about.”

Kym shifted so that she was between Lauren and Schaeffer. “As crown guard, it’s my duty to keep the princess safe. I believe that I have to stay by her side at all times in order to do that.”

His eye twitched and he nodded. “Of course, of course, I understand. Princess, I just wanted to ask how you are handling the tragedy of Allendale square?”

She froze and felt the fire burning on her skin like it wasn't over, like it was still happening.

He continued. “It was a monumental attack, and even if you are not currently ruling, you still have a lot of power. Since many have died, including friends and family of noblemen, I was wondering if you were planning to do a memorial of sorts? Though I can imagine how hard it is to find trustworthy people to carry it out.”

“I… The-” Lauren stuttered.

Kym looked over to her then. 

“Lauren, are you okay?”

In that lapse of action, Schaeffer’s hand suddenly shot out, a knife in its grip and hungry for blood. Lauren registered it too late. 

As she tried to back away at the last moment, a hand was on her shoulder, shoving her back before a figure appeared as her shield. 

And Kym was in front of her. She was in front of her with the blade intended for Lauren embedded in her arm instead. Lauren could see the crimson bloom of blood forming on Kym’s forearm, yet the guard paid no mind to her injury. She turned the side to face Lauren, and said, “Are you okay?” 

Immediately, another guard was there, grabbing the noble by the arms, holding him tight. “Under the authority of the crown guard, we take you into custody for crimes against the kingdom and the people.”

He struggled, trying to escape from the guard’s hold, but his attempt on Lauren’s life was obviously made out of panic, not skill or strength.

“Let me go, you bastard! Let me go, they’ll kill me!”

His cries followed behind him as he was dragged away, fading more as desperation filled his words. Silence blanketed the ballroom as all eyes were on Lauren and Kym. 

Kym pulled on Lauren’s arm with her uninjured one. “Come on, I think our hosts will allow us to return home now given what just happened.”

Her legs moved automatically, and the other guards she brought with her filed in. Liam and Andrew were behind her, Kym in front of her leading her through the crowd.

Lauren left the celebration, rumors echoing behind her, the subject of them guiding her. She trusted Kym with her life, and tonight proved it was the right decision. Yet, she couldn’t help but be concerned for her guard and her lack of attention to her own wellbeing.

She glanced at Kym’s bleeding arm. Lauren could see her flexing her hand as if she were testing the nerves. 

She hoped that Kym would have a quick recovery.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ara here. Just wanted to explain some stuff about the world.  
> So in this chapter, Kym’s 15, Lauren’s 16, and Will’s 17. Ardhalis is an alliance of five different kingdoms, Lauren and Kym part of St. Clair, and Will part of Hafoc. The other three aren’t that important to the story but may be mentioned later on. 
> 
> Anyways i believe thats about it. Until next time.


	3. Begonia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yellow begonias were not the choice of flowers he would’ve gone with, but then again, she and him would never agree when it comes to aesthetics. Nor anything, for that matter.

Kym had been sixteen the first time Will—who had turned eighteen—watched her interact with her soldiers up-close. 

Lauren and Will sat alone together, each immersed in their own book that they were sure to finish within the day. 

It smelled of fresh cut roses with nothing that could be heard aside from the harmonious chirping of birds. Lauren always had a nice garden, anyway. Perhaps the momentary peace excused them from the onslaught of duties that they were to be met with later on.

Alas, their portion of quiet was cut abruptly (and rudely) to an end when Lauren’s oh-so-dear Kym burst through the garden door, one arm dragging along a boy behind her and a bag in the other.

The girl had been running errands in town the whole day, and with her absence came a brilliant quiet, though Will hadn’t been aware she brought along a friend. Or perhaps it’s a soldier of hers?

His brown hair was short and messy, the freckles that dusted his nose and cheeks making him appear quite young.

“Lauren, there you are!” Kym beamed.

Her eyes were alight with cheer, her smile as bright and obnoxious as ever, though such a grin immediately fell at the sight of Will.

He didn’t quite mind the attitude, as he wasn’t too pleased to see her either.

A tense string of silence filled the air as the two engaged in a petty glaring contest where neither would quit. It was comical, really.

The boy behind her reached out to graze her hand.

“Cap, you needed to inform her Highness of something?”

“Right!”

From the bag, Kym pulled out a bouquet of begonias in a blooming lemon color.

“We can decorate the East Hallway in these!” she paused to wrap her free arm around the boy. “Harvey here saw them and had the idea.”

The soldier—Harvey, his name was—gave Kym an all too soft gaze that went unnoticed by the recipient. 

“That’s a nice idea,” Lauren praised. “You two can decorate it however you wish. Just don't wreck the hallway.”

Kym beamed, and Will only rolled his eyes at her enthusiasm. Yellow begonias were not the choice of flowers he would’ve gone with, but then again, she and him would never agree when it comes to aesthetics. Nor anything, for that matter.

~~~~~~

He caught a glimpse of what the hallway looked like when he had walked by.

The red-maroon walls were dotted with petals of sun.

Perhaps yellow begonias were a good choice.

~~~~~~

The sky was painted grey the next time Will visited. He had greeted Lauren as he always had, threw Kym an annoyed look (which she joyfully returned), before she whispered something in Lauren’s ear and walked off. He didn’t think much of it.

Lauren and he had continued their day as usual, though it was certainly quieter without Kym beside them. 

They settled for sitting in the castle’s massive library to read, though they never ended up choosing a novel. They piled books upon books upon books, listing them off as “maybe’s” but never reading the first page. After a while of mindless searching, Lauren had told Will to fetch them some tea as she continued her hunt for the “perfect book”.

He made his way to the kitchen and froze once he took a single step inside. The large kitchen counters were littered with flour bags, mixers, bowls, and fruits that were not in any way placed neatly beside each other. 

His eyes trailed to the figure responsible for such calamity, and to no surprise did he find it to be Kym.

She stood alone in the kitchen’s corner, back turned to him as she mixed fervently in her mixing bowl, making whatever concoction that would warrant such a mess atop the counters. Even from such a distance, he could see her covered with flour and frosting.

“What the hell are you doing?”

The girl whipped around momentarily before her eyes became crestfallen at the sight of who it was and she returned to the task at hand.

“I was just informed that a lot of my soldiers have never had cake before so I’m going to make them one.”

He stared at her, flabbergasted at her attempt to bake. He eyed her bowl, then back to her, and back to the bowl.

“Or, just order a cake and save the servants of needing to clean up the mess?”

Kym scoffed, her eyes never leaving her clutter of a dessert.

“It’ll have more meaning if I bake it myself. Besides,” she reached for the bag of sugar besides her. “I’ll clean this all up.”

At that he shrugged, deciding to refocus himself on what he came to the kitchen for in the first place: tea. His attempt at blocking out her mere presence proved to be fruitless after several loud bangs occurred too close to him, and when he turned around out of pure curiosity, his heart nearly sunk.

Her corner seemed as if the devil unleashed its wrath upon a cake, and yet by some miracle, Kym was completely unaffected by the catastrophe. He was almost stunned by her unrealized impotence.

“You have a sad cake,” Will mocked. “Are you sure your soldiers will like it?”

Kym only laughed at that, though tauntingly. 

“You don’t know my soldiers like I do.”

He wished to retort, yet he found no liable excuse. After all, she was right.

In the end, he returned to his tea without another word and Kym to her “cake”. They remained in a silence—only sometimes cut by bickering—yet it all ended the same: Kym made a treat for her soldiers. 

~~~~~~

“Kym’s probably training with the royal guards,” Lauren had said on a sunny afternoon. “We’ll ask her to join us.”

The princess and duke had wanted to take a trip to town and enjoy what little freedom they had outside their duties, and so they were on the hunt for the eccentric girl to accompany them on their small getaway.

They headed for the training grounds where Will was met with the sight of soldiers sitting around, water canteens in hand and chatting away. They must be on break. If it were not for the sight, Will would’ve forgotten that Kym was their captain. 

The men and women hushed at the sight of their princess, though it appeared they weren’t talking about Lauren anyway.

“I heard she’s from Aestas,” someone murmured. “She’s one of the only survivors, or something along the lines of that.”

Will perked at that, though he didn’t let the confusion reach his face. The blond wasn’t quite sure who they were referring to, yet it was enough to capture his attention. He hadn’t heard of Aestas in a while.

 _The Fallen Kingdom_ , he had recalled. He read about it in the papers a few years back.

“She came to Ardhalis at a very young age alone, I think.”

“Oh, how tragic. Poor Cap,” the other whispered back empathetically.

Captain, they had said. 

_They were talking about Kym._

He looked to Lauren, but it seemed that she either hadn’t heard or chose to ignore it.

“Still, it explains why she has the position she does at such a young age.”

“You don’t think she bought it over with sympathy?”

Will wanted to retort at that, but he kept his mouth shut.

“Possibly. She’s been trained for a long time, apparently.”

“She sounds more like a beast than a girl.”

“Cap is a person too. It’s unfair to paint her as anything else, it’s not something she’d want.”

The sudden contradiction shocked Will enough for him to whip his head around and look for the source of the statement. 

Harvey stood with his back straight and eyes alight with passion, though his face retained his iconic innocence. He looked ready to wage war.

Reminiscing it then, Will backtracked to the many times he could see Kym speaking to the boy jovially. Harvey tended to gaze at her with a smile on his lips.

_How mad must one be to look at that girl and smile?_

However, it was always an enigmatic smile and held flurries of emotions that Will couldn’t comprehend. It was lopsided and timid, small enough to hide despair but wide enough to show pride. 

He would reach for her hand whenever he wanted her attention, and most of the time he looked puppy-shy. 

It was endearing, really, how close the two were. One couldn’t have guessed that they were merely captain and soldier. 

“Still though, you can’t deny that the captain’s skills are incredible,” perked one of the men standing beside Harvey.

“Kym!” Lauren called, spotting the girl chatting to a female guard. 

_Speak of the devil._

Will stood behind Lauren who informed Kym of their afternoon plans. He watched as she smiled, though a part of him grew sorry for her. She must know about the way her soldiers would talk about her.

Perhaps it didn’t bother her as much as he would’ve imagined, because when she turned to leave the training grounds, she dismissed her team with a rather kind smile. 

~~~~~~

“Captain Ladell? I have a letter for you,” the maid called out, poking her head into Kym’s room.

She nodded, sending the servant a small smile. 

“Thank you.”

The letter was placed onto the drawer beside the door, wrapped in a bark-colored envelope. In contrast to her princess, it was very rare for Kym to receive letters, though she never quite minded. Seeing Lauren drowned in paper often reminded Kym of how lucky she was to have such little responsibilities. 

Kym stood from where she sat, taking the envelope into her hand and looking for the name of the sender. Once she saw who had written to her, her heart skipped a beat in delight, though confusion littered her thoughts.

Taking out the letter, she slowly unfolded the paper.

_Dear Kym,_

_When you get this letter, I’d already be gone. You don’t need to know the details, just that I was injured and that I won’t make it._

Her blood ran cold. She couldn’t read on anymore. 

Her nimble fingers re-folded the paper, tucking it back into where it came from and tossing it into her bedside cabinet. Kym didn’t need to read on; the sinking and bending of her heart did enough damage, and long-written words would’ve only added gasoline to the intense burning in her stomach.

Her heart became too sensitive of her surroundings in an instant as frost blanketed across her worn out skin. Kym’s eyes began to stung, a noose forming around her neck in a desperate attempt to strangle away what was left of her euphoria.

Her hands desperately clawed to open the window, praying that the summer air would wash away the tragedy in a tidal-wave, though it only did so little. There was no physical thing that could simmer the pain—she understood that, yet it was the only thing she could turn to. 

There was nothing she _could_ do.

The sky was painted a brilliant blue, and Kym Ladell was still drowning into her sorrows.


	4. Calla Lilies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> But in that moment, he saw a glimpse of her as a crown guard, the person tasked with keeping Lauren alive, who earned her position through skill and determination. In the back of his mind, Will knew that Kym was made crown guard for a reason. But, he realized now just how earned the position was for her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Loop this: [ Watashi no Uso - Shigatsu wa Kimi no Uso OST (Acoustic Guitar)](https://youtu.be/B9RVuffwQNg)  
> Tam Lu Music (cover)

Kym was eighteen and he twenty on the first day Kym wasn’t with Lauren when Will visited her.

To compensate for her absence, three more guards flanked Lauren. He glanced at her then, a question in his eyes. She smiled slightly and gestured outside.

“Kym asked to be relieved of duties for the next few hours before you arrived. It’s the first time in a while since she’s willingly taken a break.” Catching his eyes flickering to the guards again, she rolled her eyes. “Don’t worry, _oh esteemed guest_ , she’s already drilled the standard procedure to the others and will be back soon. ”

“And here I thought I’d be blessed with having her not around for once,” he sighed, and Lauren had the audacity to laugh at him. 

_Probably found a particularly interesting bird on a specific rock and decided to watch it the entire day again_ , he thought, pushing his disappointment out of his mind. 

He spent the day with Lauren trying to ditch and hide from the guards, sneaking food from chefs pretending not to see, exploring through rooms of the castle and the garden as if it was the first time they’d seen them. No one dared to reprimand them for being too old for such behavior. It was the closest thing to the normal they once had these days, especially this close to the anniversary.

_“It wasn’t your fault.”_

_She smiled at him then, tears trailing down her face as she sat against a familiar grave. “Sure it wasn’t.”_

He tried to arrange his visits so that he could be there for her whenever he could, but things didn’t always work out. This year was unfortunately one of them. At least, he knew Kym would be there. 

A year ago, the idea of him trusting Kym to watch over her was ridiculous. Back then, he couldn’t believe that someone as irresponsible and unprofessional as her could protect Lauren. 

It had taken a while for him and Kym to get used to each other. But through a series of completely coincidental events involving stealing desserts from the kitchens, Lord Hermann breaking out in hives for a snide comment towards Lauren, and a calico kitten that they had accidentally adopted (Kym had named him Henry), they shifted from being enemies to reluctant ~~friends~~ allies. 

But that still didn’t mean that _he_ had to be the one to go get her when her time off slowly started to exceed more than what she said. He swore he heard Liam’s grin as he told him that Will was the one who had to go since the guards had to stay with Lauren.

After spending far too much time searching, he finally found Kym in the courtyard, targets in front of her with an audience scattered around her. He wasn’t too far from her, and he could see her skin shining with sweat.

Knives were in her hand and then out in a matter of seconds. Her movements were deft and precise, her focus only on hitting the weak points of the dummies. The other soldiers had paused in their training to watch her, and she didn’t seem to register them. 

He’d never seen her eyes the way they were then. He’d seen them with a shine that told of future disasters of her cause, warm as the sun when she looked at Lauren, and in utter despair whenever animals went to him first instead of her. 

But in that moment, he saw a glimpse of her as a crown guard, the person tasked with keeping Lauren alive, who earned her position through skill and determination. In the back of his mind, Will knew that Kym was made crown guard for a reason. But, he realized now just how earned the position was for her.

So he watched. He watched each and every knife hit a spot to cripple or kill. He vaguely felt sorry for the poor bastard who managed to actually hurt Lauren.

She ran out of knives, and she stood breathless and still, staring at the three knives slightly off the mark. He’s close enough to see the clench of her jaw, how she runs a hand through her hair in frustration. The scattered applause did nothing to appease her disappointment, and he saw it. 

He remembered why he came out, and yelled, “Hey, Kym! Are you gonna keep Lauren and I waiting forever or are you going to come in for your shift?”

She glanced over to him, and the tension broke into a grin. The warmth had returned, the intensity of the sun gone for now. 

She shouted back, “How do I know you didn’t kill the princess and you’re luring me to murder me too?”

He groaned. “Just come inside already! They’re all waiting for you in the throne room!”

She jogged past him, hitting his shoulder with hers not gently as she went to change. Mission completed, the duke began his walk back to where his friend was.

He hadn’t heard as many rumors as he did when Lauren had first started visiting with Kym. After the third dressing down he’d given to another group of guards, they’d learned to hold their tongue about their thoughts on Kym around him. 

But whispers still echoed through the castle walls when they thought their backs were turned, and he wasn’t the only one privy to some of the rumors that snuck through the cracks of the walls. He’s seen the panicked glances other nobles threw to Kym. 

He wondered just how much of it Kym knew, and just how much wasn't able to be made into rumors. 

When Will walked back to the throne room, Kym was already coming in through another side entrance, looking like she hadn’t just spent the last few hours training. He watched as she went to stand by Lauren’s side, before mouthing at him, “Beat you.”

They were no longer allies. Any sort of companionship or trust that was there when they plotted against Hermann was gone. He didn’t care about her or whatever rumors she had trailing behind her.

~~He didn’t need Lauren’s ability to know he was lying.~~

~~~~

The beginnings of the sunset streamed through the windows, reflected in her eyes as she glared at him. She continued pulling his arm back in an attempt to slow him down from his path to the castle gate.

“ _Come on_ , William! You don’t have to go back yet and it’s been so _long_ since we’ve visited him.”

He tried prying her grip off, but she might as well have glued her hands to him. “Shouldn’t you be with Lauren?”

“Her uncle had some important news he wanted to give her that he didn’t want anyone other than Liam and Andrew for, so you’re stuck with me.”

He tried again to loosen her fingers.“It’s getting late-”

“The sun hasn’t even begun to set!”

“-and I’ll need to start heading back soon. We can visit him another time.”

She groaned and clung to his shoulders, almost dragging him down. 

“It’ll just be a quick trip to the garden! _Surely_ someone of your standing can spare a few minutes to assist your loyal guard in ensuring the safety of one of Lauren’s subjects.”

“You can always go with someone else. Maybe one of the other guards, or by yourself.”

Kym huffed. “We’ve been over this already! Even if they weren’t with Tristan, Lauren and Harvey are allergic, Andrew’s terrified of cats, and Liam would’ve probably already been home by now. The others haven’t met Henry yet so they can’t do it. As much as I despise noble twats like you, I can’t carry the amount of food Henry deserves by myself.”

She was going to be the death of him. Forget poisons, other assassination attempts, or old age. The day Kym barged into his life was the day his spirit and will died.

“Ten minutes.”

She cheered loudly and switched from being a living deadweight to easily dragging Will to the kitchens. 

They were in and out of the kitchen in record time, arms full of a bit too stale food and a pitcher of water. Any guard or servant they came across paid them no mind, and when they passed by Andrew walking towards the council room, he only said, “Lauren said to say hi to Henry for her.” 

The crickets were starting to chirp by the time he and Kym made it outside to the gardens. They placed their armfuls of food on a stone bench next to a bushel of lilies and waited as Kym started calling for the cat.

Not long after, the brown tabby appeared, following the sound of her voice. 

“Henry!” She immediately dropped down to pet his head, and Will turned away to glance at the sun halfway under the horizon. He probably should’ve left by now. The doctor recommended that he be at her side as much as he could. He hoped his mother wouldn’t mind him being a little late today. 

A sharp laugh interrupted his thoughts. He looked back to see some of the food already gone, and Kym playing with Henry. 

He stood frozen, unable to interrupt as he watched her cinnamon eyes alight with a brightness that put the sun to shame. She was sitting cross-legged on the ground, shoulders relaxed as the tabby cat climbed into her lap. She laughed as Henry rolled onto his back, and Will had to remind himself to breathe. 

She didn't notice his staring. He shook his head. 

Walking over to where they were, he crouched down to stroke Henry’s forehead, the cat snuggling into Will’s hand in response. The tabby purred, delighted at the long-overdue attention he was being given.

William glanced at Kym again on impulse, though he quickly looked away once he noticed the sunset in her eyes.

Clearing his throat, he stood up.

“It’s been ten minutes. A deal’s a deal, and I really need to be going now.”

Kym sighed, rubbing the cat’s stomach. “So serious. One day, I’m going to make sure you know how to actually relax. What do you think Henry?”

He made a content sound.

“I wholeheartedly agree.” She lifted the cat off of her and stood up, stretching. “Come on, let’s take you to the front because lord knows you’d get lost trying to find it.”

He refused to grace that with a reply and leaned down to scratch the back of Henry’s ears before leaving. 

Kym led him back in silence through the castle through a maze of hallways and passageways. Will had no idea how she memorized the layout of St. Clair’s when he could barely keep track of his own. 

Almost too soon, they were at the bridge, where he saw a coach waiting for him. Nodding to his driver, he got inside and looked back to see Kym still standing there, watching him with a tilted head.

“Don’t you have a princess waiting for you?” 

“Don’t you have a kingdom waiting for you?” She snapped back. 

He rolled his eyes and waved his hand for his driver to start moving. He pretended he didn’t strain his eyes to keep sight of Kym as long as he could.


	5. Marigold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“Show me a hero, and I’ll write you a tragedy”_  
>  — F. Scott Fitzgerald
> 
> The sterilizing image of the lonely envelope that remained unread pierced her thoughts for barely a second, though it left as quickly as it came. She couldn’t afford to think of such mundane things quite yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Loop this: [ Debussy - Clair de Lune](https://youtu.be/WNcsUNKlAKw)  
> Rousseau

Kym had just turned twenty-one when Lauren’s engagement was announced.

It had always been on the back of Kym’s mind when Lauren would find a suitor. They’re adults now; she’d have to be wedded no later. 

So why was there such a bitter sting when she announced that she was engaged?

Tristan had interrupted their idle dinner chatter with a cling of his cup, and Kym’s conversation with Lauren had immediately stopped. When the esteemed regent announced the engagement of his precious niece and Duke Hawkes, Kym had cheered alongside the maids and servants around them. 

She laughed like she did all the same.

She opted to ignore the heavy weight in her chest.

~~~~~~

Boisterous chatters rang through the large ballroom, the noise too loud and too apparent for Kym to focus. She was suited in her uniform as her eyes jumped warily from stranger to stranger.

Nobles and the like were joyously contemptuous in their own worlds, suited in their dapper outfits and costly jewelry. 

Her eyes landed on Lauren and Will—who only walked a few feet ahead of her—the only two who opted to leave the bedazzling bling and instead, adorn their more simple attire.

They stuck out in the best way possible. 

Kym, on the other hand, did her best to blend in and act as eagle-eye, scouting for any notable behavior and keeping close-watch on any noble that went near Lauren. The incident from years ago left its imprints on Kym’s skin. She doesn’t pay much attention to the fading trail on her forearm anymore. 

From the corner of her eyes, she could see Tristan taking his place atop the regal and large staircase centered before the entire ballroom. The party fell into a hushed silence beneath his presence. He had a crystal wine-glass in one hand and eyes poised in honor as his gaze swept across the crowd. 

“Honored guests, I thank you all for your attendance this fine evening. I welcome you to the celebration of my niece and her childhood friend.”

The crowd cheered as all eyes fell onto the esteemed couple, who simply offered a practiced smile in return. 

Tristan continued. “As we all know, unity is a key aspect in giving Ardhalis the respect it deserves. If just one of the kingdoms depart, we as a whole would be weakened. Together, in unity, we are strong. And tonight, we celebrate Princess Lauren of St. Clair and Duke William of Hafoc coming together to be unified in marriage.”

Tristan raised his chandelier-tinted wine-glass to toast to the two as claps erupted around him. William toasted back, wordless and charming as the riches around him volunteered to dim their brilliance under his presence. 

When the commotion settled and the rosy notes of violins could be heard again, Kym could see her friends sigh in depletion as their squared shoulders fell. They were drained of energy and the ball had barely started.

Kym clicked her tongue.

“He said ‘unity’ too many times. Poets would be shaking with disappointment.”

Will snorted. Lauren laughed.

Kym walked towards the pristine and over-shined walls, taking her place as a wallflower to oversee the rest of the ball.

Soon thereafter, the orchestra slowed the waltz into a soft ballad, commencing the couples dance. Of course, as the ball was dedicated to the engagement of the Nobleman and Princess, Lauren and Will took their positions in the center of the dance floor.

Kym watched as Lauren tenderly placed a hand on Will’s shoulder, his much larger form hugging her close. They fit like puzzle pieces made from delicate skies as they captivated every soul in the room with their heavenly movements, every turn they made writing songs that no artist could dare compose. Kym could only stare with wistful eyes.

A part of her craved to be included, though she knew it was not her place to do so. 

Her eyes became more and more clouded with sorrow the deeper her longing grew. Her heart started to bend and writhe, though she refused to pay it any mind. 

Kym barely noticed when the two had separated, nor did she notice the crowds had formed into pairs, each with their own partner to parade with.

Kym still stood alone, practically clinging to the wall without a person to call her own. Not that she minded. Her job was to stand at attention, not dance. 

The sterilizing image of the lonely envelope that remained unread pierced her thoughts for barely a second, though it left as quickly as it came. She couldn’t afford to think of such mundane things quite yet.

Her eyes wandered to the windows where the moonlit garden taunted her from the outside. She longed for the night air get-away, yet her self-control did not allow her to.

“You look pathetic standing here by yourself,” a voice called to her.

She turned as the man of the hour walked towards her without Lauren beside him. If he noticed her shock, he didn’t announce it.

“Duty calls, I’m afraid.” She grinned with that lopsided smile of hers, eyes perplexing as always. He never really realized until then how hard of a book she was to read. “Oh, I forgot, you’re simply too good for responsibility.”

He rolled his eyes, half feigning annoyance and half feigning exhaustion. 

“Care to dance? Lauren’s with other nobles as of the moment, and you look far too lonely.”

Kym sighed, though she begrudgingly took the hand he held out to her anyway. 

He led her away from her station and to the middle of the ballroom right as the orchestra began performing their next ballad.

Will’s hands found her waist while Kym’s were placed on his shoulder. She was stiff at first—her feet were not used to the gracefulness of dancing. As the orchestra continued to play their harmony, however, she slowly sunk into the steady rhythm. Still, her mood never lightened up despite the change of setting.

Will could see the way her eyes were clouded with lethargy and disturbance while her lips were pressed into a thin line. She looked nothing of the Kym that insulted his status.

His gaze flickered to the marble floor beneath him before he lightly stepped on his partner’s foot. She stumbled in his arms before looking up in bewilderment.

“Don’t look so stiff, you idiot. Next time that happens, I’ll let you fall,” he said to her with a deadpan expression.

She gazed at him in shock, before it melted into laughter. Pure, genuine laughter. It was almost melodic and familiar, but he couldn’t quite pin-point the right way to describe it. He was almost surprised at first.

Then, he couldn’t hold back the smile that fought its way onto his lips too.

Soon thereafter, holding her felt more natural—dare he say more so than Lauren.

He quickly expelled the thought as quickly as it came.

“So, how was your dance with Lauren?” Kym perked, her usual cheer returning to her eyes.

“It was good. She was a much better dancer than my current partner,” he jabbed playfully. She shot him an annoyed look.

“Lauren’s always been a better dancer, can you blame me?” she mumbled. “Besides, it seemed to me like you were inadequate compared to her.”

He stuck his foot out just barely enough for her trip, but not far out enough for outsiders to notice. She stumbled forward again and landed face-first into his chest before pulling back and glaring daggers sharp enough to penetrate his thoughts. He merely shrugged.

“If this is how you act on a daily basis, I worry for Lauren in the future,” she hissed sharply under her breath. 

“Don’t worry. I treat her differently than I do you.”

The comment took her off-guard as a devastating wave of realization consumed her. That deep-rooted sense of worthlessness mocked her once more, and it became harder to grasp onto that ray of benevolence. William didn’t seem to notice this time.

“Ha, good.”

They continued to sway side to side, though the air between them changed again. 

“So, what are you thinking about that has you so mopey? You look bothered,”

Kym scoffs.

”The only thing bothering me is you,”

“Dear me, I have become a bother to the Lady Kym. Oh, whatever shall I do?”

Kym rolled her eyes.

“If you keep acting like this, you won’t be able to do anything before I kill you.”

He laughed at that. 

“I hope you know that threatening to kill a nobleman is treason.”

“I think they’ll excuse it if it’s you.”

“Cold. Do you talk to Lauren like this?”

“Please, I treat her differently than I do you,” Kym mocked.

The orchestration finished the first movement, moving the dance into a slower tempo. The two were silent for a moment before Kym spoke. 

“If you dare hurt her in any way,” she started, and although her words held menace, her eyes and voice spoke playfully. “I won’t hesitate to decapitate you.”

She could see his brows twitch in response, his moonlit eyes boring into hers before replying in a voice that reminded her of his status as someone of power.

“I will make her happy.”

She could feel a throbbing begin to crescendo in her chest so painfully she almost choked. She was nearly taken aback by how sincere he spoke. 

“Good.” Kym offered him a soft smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. 

They didn’t speak after that. They simply danced, each step building a wall between them that drove them further apart. 

Kym could feel the familiar numbness returning but feigned contentment while she danced in William’s arms. She didn’t let her mask slip for the rest of the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i gagged writing this chapter :) - Cec


	6. Laminae I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They lived in a small kingdom. The breeze swayed some kind of lilac each morning, the birds were never late to sing their ballad. The people were kind. The rulers were fair.

_Kym had been eleven at the time. She was quite bright, her spirit made of sunshines and daisies. Her summer-dipped smile was illuminating; after all, she and her sister were the apples of their parent’s eyes._

_Her older sibling had been training to work as a part of the royal guards at the time, though she never had the opportunity to graduate._

_They lived in a small kingdom. The breeze swayed some kind of lilac each morning, the birds were never late to sing their ballad. The people were kind. The rulers were fair._

_Who could’ve known that delicacy could be destroyed so deliberately._

_Soldiers had marched into her town with guns ablaze. The once pastel walls of the townhouses were painted over with the red of her friends and neighbors._

_Her sister was out in town when the devils ripped into her house._

_Her parents had tucked her away into a small cabinet once they heard the thundering footsteps of their hunters wrecking down their caramel-colored door._

_She had heard screams and cries of agony, and then the haunting silence that lingered in the air even after she heard the footsteps retreat from her home. Tears had sprung out of her eyes, yet she clasped her hand over her mouth in an attempt to muffle the fear that swallowed her whole. Her whole form was shaking._

_She waited a few more minutes. The cabinet acted as her safe haven. In it, she didn’t have to think about what had happened. She could sleep, stay there forever until she woke up again in the arms of her parents._

_But, her stubborn nature didn’t let her reside in the small space much longer. She crawled out in search of her parents, for the hope that they’ll be there to tell her it’s going to be okay. The yearning that they’re still fine lifted her to her feet, unsteadily leading her through the house._

_The scene in her living room shattered all that was left of her innocence. It wasn’t fair._

_She wasn’t sure what to do. What could she even do? She was confused, scared, and crying._

_Her little hands reached for her mother’s cheeks in an attempt to wake her up from whatever slumber she was in. When that didn’t work, she moved to her father._

_“Mom? Dad?” she pleaded as her voice broke into a million pieces. “Please wake up…”_

_She sat down beside her parent’s bloodied and mangled corpses, arms wrapped around her knees to make herself out to be a little ball. Her tears had dried out. She didn’t know how to cry anymore._

_She stayed there for hours. Or maybe days? She didn’t bother to keep track of time,_

_She didn’t turn around when her door burst open again, nor was she scared. She didn’t mind dying right then._

_“Oh my God…” she heard a whisper behind her. She recognized the voice in an instant._

_Kym had whirled around in search of her saving grace, and when she was met with the mortified expression adorned on her sister’s face, she cried the tears she thought she couldn’t._

_Her sibling picked her up, and though Kym couldn’t quite catch sight of it, she saw her hero spare one more glance at their parents before bolting out of the house._

_“Delilah…” Kym had cried._

_“I know,” she had choked out, though her voice was breaking as well. “I know.”_


	7. Purple Hyacinth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They took a turn down the kitchen hallway and stopped. Kym’s eyes narrowed and she drew a knife.
> 
> The would-be assassin had the audacity to scoff at the action.

Lauren’s 21st birthday was like her 13th and the ones after—a grand ceremony held to honor the princess in having the fortune of surviving another year. It also conveniently happened to be held immediately after her and Will’s engagement ball. At this point, they might as well be begging for assassins to kill them with the amount of ceremonies they’ve been hosting.

She wasn’t the only one who felt inconvenienced. Kym’s annoyance was shown so clearly on her face, leading to the point where Lila laughed and said, “Careful, they might think you and Lukas are actually related if you keep glaring at everyone like that.” 

Lukas rolled his eyes at Kym’s shudder and lightly shoved her. “Oh, screw you, Ladell.”

She let out a gasp and pressed her hand to her eyes, mock wiping at her non-existent tears. 

“ _Captain Lukas Randall_ , how could you say that to me? Has all our time together meant nothing? Our idle gossip behind the backs of nobles? The desserts we’ve stolen from all the noblemen? That time I saved you from _dying_?”

“If this is what I have to deal with alive, you should’ve just let me bleed out.”

Will was suddenly taken over by a coughing fit. Lila was laughing unashamedly. Lauren barely kept it together as Kym wailed in response. 

“I’ve helped save all your lives at least once and this is the thanks I get? You’re all dead to me. Henry is the only one who cares about me.”

Lukas snorted. “I can live with that.” He looked back to Lila, before widening his eyes and reaching towards her plate. “Wait, Lila, don’t eat that yet, what if it’s poisonous? We can’t have a repeat of-“

“Yeah, while we’re on that, Lauren, you shouldn’t eat that either, no one else touched that before you. I volunteer Will to taste test it.”

“Wh—I never agreed to that!”

“So you just want Lauren and Lila—two heirs of Ardhalis—to _die?_ ”

“I never said that!”

“If Lauren’s dead, I’d be demoted. Fired. Thrown out on the streets! Who’d take care of Henry?” 

Lauren bit her lip. “You know Kym, I think we should talk about that. About Henry.”

Kym paused, apprehension apparent in her caramel eyes.

“What about him?”

“Kym, I think we might need to let him go.”

Lauren was fairly sure that her friend was about to burst into tears on the spot. 

“No. I can’t, we can figure this out, we can work it out,” she tried reasoning.

Lauren sighed. “With Phantazein becoming a bigger threat, we need all the help we can get to avoid war. And that includes more hours from everyone.”

“Yes, but we can still find someone else close to here to take care of him!” 

Will shook his head. “Kym, Lauren and Harvey are both allergic, and no one else is willing to watch Henry.”

Lukas turned towards Lila. “Do you want a cat?”

“I mean- it’s not really _necessary_ , but it’s not something that I would be against,” she quipped.

“It’s a yes or a no.”

Lila sighed. “It’s okay. If she doesn't want to give him to us, it’s her decision.”

If the look on Lila’s face didn’t convince Kym, the glare on Lukas’s did.

Will put a hand on her shoulder. “It’s for the best.”

Kym stared at them all for a moment, before turning away. “As much as I hate to admit it, they’re right. Lila, if it had to be anyone, I’m glad it’s you.”

Lila grabbed her hand and squeezed it. “I’ll make sure he’s safe.”

She sighed, eyes downcast for a moment before she smiled and laughed. “Yeah, I trust you. Anyways, this is a party! It’s Lauren’s birthday and we should actually celebrate before the nobles ambush her.”

~~~

Lila had waved goodbye to them half an hour before, taking Henry with them. Will left not long after.

Kym walked with Lauren, arm around her shoulders. Andrew was rolling his eyes at her cries, and they were walking back to their rooms for the night.

A piercing scream echoed from somewhere in the castle. 

In a single second, the entire world shifted. Kym’s hand gripped her wrist, and she started barking orders to nearby guards before dragging her through the castle halls. 

“Kym, what-“

“I’m taking you to a safe place in the event that you’re in danger. Only the higher up guards and I know about it. Your uncle should be there by the time we get there.”

They took a turn down the kitchen hallway and stopped. Kym’s eyes narrowed and she drew a knife.

The would-be assassin had the audacity to scoff at the action.

“No offense, but I highly doubt that you’d be able to stop me from killing your princess right here and now with that knife.”

She bared her teeth and tightened her grip. “I _dare_ you.” 

He smirked, and then he was in front of Kym, her knives barely holding back his sword.

“Lauren, get out of here!”

She pushed him off and went to stab his left. He easily slid out of the way, careless. Lauren snapped out of shock and tried to leave, but then heard Kym grunt in pain. 

A gush of blood flowed down her arm, and a cut across the assassin’s cheek. Her knuckles were white holding her knives, and the grin she wore was murderous.

“What are you waiting for? Go!” She jerked her head down a hallway, and the assassin’s eyes flickered towards her, and froze. 

Kym didn’t waste a second and kicked him into the wall before driving a knee into his back, forcing him to the ground. Before he could blink, handcuffs were around his wrists and a knife was against his throat.

“Under the authority of the crown guard, I arrest you under charges of nobility murder and attempted murder of royalty.”

He laughed. He had a blade at his throat and laughed. Lauren was close to taking a knife from Kym and ending him then and there. 

“Wow, did you spend time memorizing that? I’d say that’s impressive if it isn’t the only thing you’ve accomplished in the past decade.” Kym narrowed her eyes and pressed the knife closer to his neck.

“Easy, easy! I’m only stating facts. After all, you’re still investigating the tragedy at Allendale Square, aren't you?” He shrugged as best as he could at their shocked faces. “Money has a trail. Yours couldn’t be more obvious, and it’s following a series of investigators coming up with nothing.”

A chill spread throughout Lauren’s body and she was immediately kneeling in front of them both. “Let him breathe.”

Kym reluctantly removed the knife. Lauren leaned down to grab a fistful of his hair and pulled him eye to eye. “What do you know about Allendale?”

He winced at the action. “You couldn’t stand to be a little more gentle, princess?”

She smiled, and let his head drop onto the ground. “Is that gentle enough for you?”

“Wonderfully so,” he groaned.

“So glad you agree. Now, what do you know?”

“Is that _all_ you want? Surely you want more, or something else for your kingdom. Unless of course, Allendale is personal for you?”

Kym pressed her knee deeper into his back, and he hissed in pain. “Stop stalling, and answer her question.”

“Fine, fine. Touchy subject. I get it.” He sighed. “ **I don’t know much about it**. I know it’s considered one of the biggest mysteries and failures of Ardhalis. **I don’t know who did it, and I don’t know why.** If I had to guess, maybe for power or fear? **That’s basically it.** ”

Lauren hummed. “Is that so? And if I don’t believe half of what you just told me?”

“I know we’re off to a bit of a shaky start, **but I’m telling the truth**. Would trusting my word be so bad?”

She ignored him. “Kym, get him standing so we can start walking back. I’m sure my uncle and the rest of the council can find a dark hole to stick this lying bastard in to never see the light of day again.”

**“I’m not lying! I don’t know anything. I work alone, so I couldn’t tell you more about Allendale even if I wanted to.”**

Lauren looked down on him. “See, that innocent act may work on other people, but it won’t work on me.” She turned to Kym. “We need to take him to the dungeon. Let’s go.”

Kym roughly dragged him up, and he let out a sharp exhale. “You two aren’t exactly the most hospitable, you know.”

Kym snorted as she pushed him to start walking. “Forgive us for not being the most welcoming to an assassin close to killing me and the princess.” Her eyes flickered towards Lauren before going back to him. “Where are you even from? Phantazein?”

“Like I said before, I work alone. **Even if I didn’t, I wouldn’t be from Phantazein of all places.** Their king is, surprise, not exactly known as the friendliest, and a kingdom reflects its ruler. If half the rumors are true, I’d rather die than serve him.”

Lauren faltered in her steps and turned towards them. Kym stopped and glanced over at her, an eyebrow raised. Lauren nodded her head, and Kym widened her eyes in disbelief. She crossed her arms, narrowing her eyes. 

“Cut the act. I know you’re an assassin for Phantazein and that you know more than you’re telling me. The only reason you’re still alive is so that we can force every bit of information about Phantazein out of you before locking you up.”

He threw his head back and laughed. “Princess, what _exactly_ can you do if I don’t say anything? Torture me? Throw me in prison? _Please._ There’s not a single place you could put me I wouldn’t be able to get out of. Not that you’d want to, of course.”

Lauren scoffed and turned away to start walking. “And why’s that?”

“Ardhalis may have the strength of five kingdoms, but you are not at all prepared for Phantazein. Even if you were, you don’t have enough justifiable cause to even attack them and declare war on every other kingdom that could help you. If you want to find out what really happened with Allendale and what my kingdom’s planning, you’ll need all the help you can get.”

“Are you offering your services?”

He widened his smile and tilted his head “I’m offering a plan. Let’s make a pact, a deal behind the curtains, if you will. Convince your underlings to begin an undercover operation to infiltrate PS ranks. Your personal spy will gather word and confirmation of their wrong-doings to Ardhalis, and in turn, your kingdom gains safety and power in knowledge.”

Lauren scoffed. “How can I trust that this isn’t a ploy to slaughter one of my guards?”

“Slaughter is quite a _strong word_ , don’t you think?”

The glare Kym sent him wiped the smile off his face for a second. He coughed.

“In any case, we have the same goal: to bring down Phantazein. You, for who died at Allendale, and me, for the absolute bastard of a king. My offer is compelling, is it not?”

She wasn’t considering it. She wasn’t accepting an offer from an assassin who almost killed her best friend. 

“You gain power _and_ revenge. Justice too, if you care about that.”

Lauren shook her head. “Why are you asking _my_ kingdom for a spy? You’re perfectly capable of pulling such a stunt yourself.”

He clicked his tongue, disappointed. “I came here on my _own_ accord. No one else knows that I’m currently in this castle. Besides, you’re a smart girl. You know Ardhalis would never allow someone from Phantazein to spy for them, much less someone from the Scythe.” He paused, debating about finishing his thoughts. “And, it’s easier for me not to get caught and killed if there was someone else with me.”

She pressed her lips together. 

“Anyways, if you want my help, I’d be able to get in a couple of good words to get one of your servants in. But trust me, I’ll need the best of the best. I don’t want someone who lasts one month before snitching this entire plan to the leader. _That_ would be unfortunate.” His gaze shifted over to Kym. “I believe you should have someone of that caliber employed?”

It took almost everything in her to not glance at her friend. Her silence still screamed.

“Ah, so you know someone then?”

She shouldn’t have told Kym to remove the knife earlier if he was going to be like this. “I never said that.”

He smiled crookedly. “You didn’t need to.” He stepped away from them both, and the cuffs fell from his wrist. Kym went to grab him, but he evaded her easily.

“Think about it, princess. I’ll be in touch.”

And then he ran off, jumping out a nearby window from a height that should kill him. She knew without looking that the bastard was probably still alive.

Every investigation conducted about Allendale turned up nothing. Only the same facts that it was an unexplainable tragedy with equally unexplainable origin. St. Clair had never fully recovered, and every other kingdom knew it. 

There were rumors, of course. Whispers of how coincidental the tragedy and Phantazein’s inception were, how little there was known about the kingdom as a whole. Rumors of how many unsolved assassinations could be traced back to a single group. Unsaid suspicions about a possible connection between the growing number of assassinations and Phantazein’s recent power influx.

But they were all circumstantial. There wasn’t enough. What they were doing wasn’t enough. 

Kym placed a hand on her shoulder. “Are you okay?”

She smiled and pulled away. “Yeah, I’m fine. Let’s head back.”

The assassin’s words still echoed in her ears, as they did in her friend’s. Both of them already knew they weren’t breathing a word about the exchange that night.

The next day, a bouquet of purple hyacinths came for her, with a meeting place buried inside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ara here. I hated writing this chapter. I am so glad it’s over.
> 
> Background on Phantazein: obvious it’s our version of a PS kingdom, but while Phantazein does have a formal military, it also has an off the books group that does the shady stuff. The country is ruled by a ruler and an elected council. That’s everything about Phantazein I think won’t make it in the story and the rest will be explained in the other chapters.
> 
> oh also btw Lila’s princess of another kingdom that’s part of Ardhalis with Lukas as captain of her guard


	8. Pink Camilla

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He was hurt. He didn’t want to be, and he didn’t have much of a right to be. But the idea of Kym gone left a festering emptiness that grew by the second, leaving a bitter taste in his mouth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Loop this: [ Debussy - Reverie - Ethereal Remix](https://youtu.be/B9RVuffwQNg)  
> A.Krishna

They sat cross-legged on the garden floor, a game of chess set up between them. Lauren’s hand rested on her chin as she stared at her pieces, Will mirroring her. She had already claimed victory twice, but she had decided to give her friend a chance at mercy. 

She couldn’t do it anymore.

“Checkmate, Will, for the fifth time in a row. Just quit while you’re at it and accept I’m the better player.” 

He frowned at the board in front of him, as if it would do as he wished and give him at least one victory over his friend. “One more game. I have a feeling about this one, I know it. This time, I’ll win.”

She raised an eyebrow before shrugging, setting the game up once more. 

This round, she showed no mercy. He went for her knight, she set her bishop to take his queen. He moved, opening her to take his rook. A pawn protected her other bishop, and she sent her own rook to topple his pieces one by one. He killed it with his bishop, two pieces shorter. White knight to black king. Black king switched with black rook.

There was no commentary from the side about their game, Kym uncharacteristically as silent as the guards beside her. Will had noticed something off about her when they met again, but then he had brushed it off as a bad day. 

For once, she was doing her job as captain of the royal guards impeccably. She rarely spoke with him when given the chance. Every attempt he made to bait her into talking, she’d barely react. Her silence gave the castle a sense of peace he didn’t have the luxury of being familiar with.

It unnerved him.

He wasn’t the only one who had noticed. Harvey, Liam, Andrew, and the other guards were all eyeing her. Not to mention Lauren, whose gaze focused more on her than the rest of them combined. 

“Checkmate, Will.”

Yet even with her concern distracting her, he couldn’t get a victory. He groaned and shook his head. “Very well, Princess Lauren, I accept my loss. I concede the title of chess master to you.”

“An extremely high honor,” She deadpanned. 

“And with my crippling defeat, I ask if you had anything else you’d like to do while we’ve time?”

She sighed disappointedly. “As much as I’d like to, I’ve got to go into the lower town. There’s an opening of a new infrastructure center that Uncle wants me to oversee, and I don’t believe I’ll be back before you’ll have to leave. I think you might as well leave now instead of waiting. What do you think, Kym?”

The guard shrugged her shoulders. “It’s not up to me what you two choose to do. Besides, I don’t believe my input would be much good when the idiot’s involved.”

Indignation rose up in Will, but it was smothered by the smallest strand of relief that Kym didn’t change into an entirely different person. Still, it didn’t lessen the concern in him.

He clicked his tongue and made his voice prouder. “You know, it’s against the law for average citizens to talk to nobility like that.”

“Well, then I must ask you to forgive me for my impudence.”

And there returned that spark of unease. On any other day, she would’ve made a snide remark that poked at his status, yet her tone was flat and unwavering.

Kym turned to Lauren. “Are we going now?”

Lauren’s eyes flickered between the two of them, before she carefully said, “You know, I think Liam and Andrew can look over me for a few minutes while I get ready. Why don’t you take a break so you don’t get too tired today? I’ll meet you by the carriage, okay Kym?”

The girl nodded, and after a brief goodbye, they were alone, save for the few unfamiliar guards left watching them. Kym walked to one of the nearby benches, and he followed her.

“What’s going on?”

She sat down, elbows on her knees, before slightly lifting her shoulders in a shrug and closing her eyes. 

Will groaned and shook his head, moving to sit next to her. “Look, you don’t have to tell me everything. I just need to know that you’re okay.”

She smiled, tilted her head, and opened her eyes to look at him. “I thought you despised me.”

He looked away. “I do, but that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t look out for friends of Lauren.”

For a minute, neither said a word. Then, Kym spoke. 

“It’s...something with family...and my position.” She paused to take a deep breath. “I had an unpleasant reminder that almost anyone I care about either leaves or I have to leave them.”

Too familiar memories flared at the back of Will’s mind, but he shoved them aside. “You’ll always have Lauren and I, and the rest of the guards. We’re not leaving anytime soon.”

She shook her head and laughed humorlessly. “Will, _I’m_ leaving. Probably before your next visit.”

The ground might as well have swallowed him up then and there. 

_17\. Alone. His mother, bedridden in heartbreak, always crying out for his father when she sees Will. He can only smile and pretend that he was ready to head the family, that he could handle it without his father._

He sharply inhaled. 

“Do you know where? How long?”

She picked at her uniform. “I don’t have a solid idea for either. Just that it’s not an optional assignment, and it’ll be for a long time.” She smiled tightly. “I’ll probably barely have time to visit Henry.”

He was hurt. He didn’t want to be, and he didn’t have much of a right to be. But the idea of Kym gone left a festering emptiness that grew by the second, leaving a bitter taste in his mouth. 

He wanted her to stay. He wanted to visit her and groan at her jokes and pretend the world didn’t care about them. He wanted to just exist together with her.

And he couldn’t say any of that. So he just smiled and said, “You’ll find time. You've always been able to figure out problems I could never dream of.”

“That isn’t as high a compliment as you might think. I saw you playing chess earlier.”

He groaned and she grinned at his suffering.

“I take my concern back. At least with you not here, it’s going to be blessedly quiet when I visit.”

She let out a quiet laugh and said, “Yeah, and it’s going to be wonderful to not have to see your face every other week.”

“Absolutely perfect.” 

She met his eyes, and he pretended not to know the meaning of every silent glance between the two of them. She smiled. It looked wrong on her. 

“Don’t die on me, idiot. It’d be a pain to organize your funeral.” 

“Likewise.” He shouldn’t speak more. He can’t, or he’d reveal every lie he’s told himself. He’d face every unsaid comfort that passed between them when an assassination got too close, every emotion he felt that grew stronger as the years chased them down, as well as Lauren’s coronation and their marriage silently loomed over them. 

They sat in silence, confessions and feelings they didn’t know the depths of dying on their lips. 

“Kym, I-“

“Captain, the princess is ready for you.” They whirled to look at the servant behind them, who had the decency to look a little sheepish. “And your company has prepared for your departure, your Grace.” Kym sighed, before standing, Will following suit. 

“I guess this is goodbye.” He nodded, and she took a step away from him. “Stay safe, Will.”

She gave him a sad imitation of a smile and turned to walk away. 

Before he could think about it, he lightly grabbed onto her wrist. 

“Wait.”

She stopped.

“I won’t die on you if you don’t die on me. Please, stay safe.”

She’s silent, too silent. Then, the corners of her mouth lifted. “You’d probably die carelessly eating poisonous cake if I was gone too long.”

It’s not a promise. Neither of them are fit to guarantee them. But it’s the closest thing to it for them. 

Instinctively, his other hand tucked blue strands of hair away from her face. She grabs onto his hand before he can pull away, toffee eyes wide and kind, and they latch onto the moment as if they won’t have to pull away from each other the next. 

“Goodbye, Will.” Her voice slightly breaks, and he wants to curse it all and run away with her, live the rest of their lives without pain. 

But they can’t.

“Goodbye, Kym.” 

Then he lets go, and she’s gone.


	9. Chrysanthemum

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She caught the glare Lauren sent him and reminded herself to ask her friend about her increasingly straining relationship with her uncle later. But for now, she was fighting to keep her face impassive. 
> 
> In her defense, it was not every day you find out one of your closest friends is a traitor to everything you stand for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Loop this: [ Once Upon a December - Anastasia (Piano Tutorial) by Aldy Santos](https://youtu.be/4JhcFJFRqAE)  
> Aldy Tutorials

“Captain Ladell, are you listening?”

The council’s eyes bored into her skull, next to none of them offering her the slightest amount of sympathy. She nodded sharply, forcing her breathing to even out. 

Tristan stared skeptically for a few moments before continuing. “Even in light of this news, we expect that you perform flawlessly. You're the best and most capable for this assignment. We’d hate to lose you so quickly.” 

She caught the glare Lauren sent him and reminded herself to ask her friend about her increasingly straining relationship with her uncle later. But for now, she was fighting to keep her face impassive. 

In her defense, it was not every day you find out one of your closest friends is a traitor to everything you stand for. 

“Regarding our informant, you should know enough about the Purple Hyacinth to be wary of him. While he has made things more convenient, he does not have our trust. If it becomes necessary, we trust you’ll be able to deal with him.”

“You are to send updates every month and any pressing information immediately. This includes future attacks on major nobles, kingdoms, and the identity of spies. Remember, your duty is to send word if Phantazein has plans to declare war on Ardhalis. Understood?”

Kym stiffly nodded. “Would that be all?” 

St. Clair’s regent dipped his head. “You are excused.”

Kym bowed before leaving. She got three steps out the door before she collapsed on the floor, knees blistering against the rug. Tears stung at the corners of her eyes but she forced them down. Her heart was blazing within her worn-out ribs.

A Phantazein spy. Harvey, the boy who had defended her, who had helped her gather flowers for the castle, who had a grandfather he adored, who protected Ardhalis to what she thought was to the best of his ability. 

She shakily stood, heavily leaning on the wall for support. She needed to get a hold of herself. Will was going to be visiting again today. She was leaving soon. She couldn’t have him think something was wrong.

She took a deep breath before slowly walking to find her former friend.

~~~~~~

When she found him in the soldier's barracks, Kym asked Harvey to accompany her on a walk. He happily obliged.

When she hesitantly raised falsified doubts about Ardhalis, about how she’d dedicated years of her life to rulers who probably wouldn’t care less about her, he had listened intensely. He swore that he wouldn’t tell anyone else of her recent views. He claimed that she wasn’t alone in them, that he knew how she felt and shared her opinions. 

When she smiled, expressing her make-believe gratitude, he glowed at the praise. He paused as if debating whether or not he should say more, before telling her he would always be willing to listen or talk with her about anything.

At that point, she was simply awaiting him to take the bitter bait. 

When he had hesitantly asked her if she would like to accompany him on a trip to a kingdom that shared their views, she knew he had latched onto the hook. He never explicitly told her his real identity, but she figured he already knew that she did. She was no fool. 

When he had enveloped her in a warming embrace, she could feel the guilt pooling inside her stomach. The poison was setting in, and she didn’t bother to expel it. After all, it was her duty. 

She only returned the hug, feigning sweet oblivion.

They both took a trip to PS the next week.

~~~~~~

The window didn’t make a sound as she climbed through. The night was still, the wind silent, and her blade called for blood.

_“When you first arrived, the Purple Hyacinth had given you a glowing recommendation, highlighting your skills and ability. Our spies have also spoken highly of your accomplishments. To be frank, that is the only reason you’ve been allowed to stay without the usual assessments.”_

Kym could sneak around the castle and outwit most of the guards at St. Clair by the time she was sixteen. The small castle’s security paled in comparison to it. Even if she wasn’t used to her surroundings, the blueprints the Scythe’s spies provided were detailed enough to move undetected. 

_“However, with as much praise as you have been given, your sheer undivided devotion to the Ardhalis crowns has made you quite the nuisance ever since you were a child. It has been a debate among the Apostles as to what to do with you, but they all seem to have agreed that they must see if that loyalty of yours is truly with the Phantazein crown.”_

There was always the off chance of encountering a guard who decided to spontaneously take a break or leave early. There wasn’t a single plan in the world that went as expected, and this one was no different.

She hated admitting it, but Belladonna’s poison was a bit easier than using knives. She didn’t imagine the guard suffering a great deal from her injecting it. She couldn’t think about how he’d have to die. 

She dragged his body into a broom closet, bloody chokes barely audible.

_“You are to infiltrate Ardhalis, accompanied by Belladonna Davenport. Your target has already been selected.”_

_A picture slid across the table, focused on a brown-haired woman standing proud behind the former King of Derose._

_“Considering your past occupation, you should be familiar with her.”_

She may not have met her personally, but between Lila, Lauren, and most the other guards, she knew enough about her to know she didn’t deserve to die. 

Kym glanced around the corner, only a few paces away from the guards present at Lady Grayson’s bedroom door. Unsheathing her knife, she turned the corner. They let out an alarmed shout before lunging at her with their pikes. She twisted her body around them, plunging a knife through an armor gap into the ribs of one before throwing another knife into the neck of the other. She winced at the clang the bodies made when they hit the ground and knew that it wouldn’t be long before others came. 

She entered Lady Grayson’s room, her target standing near the bed.

“Wh- who are you?” She started backing away, too slowly.

“I’m sorry.”

Kym didn’t give her enough time to respond. Knife in one hand, she drove the weapon into the woman’s stomach, drowning out her pained screams. Kym refused to look at her.

The body slumped atop her before Kym forcibly shrugged her off. It was only another life. It would do wonders for the Scythe’s trust in her abilities. 

_“I’m sorry.”_

That age-old melodic voice rang in her head again like fine-wine.

_“I’m so sorry.”_

Kym had been so young then. Twelve, maybe thirteen?

However, young age couldn’t erase the melancholy day. 

_“You’re suffocating,” she sobbed with so much agony that Kym couldn’t understand at the time. Her sister was on her knees, head buried in Kym’s small shoulders and arms around her so tightly it hurt. “You’re suffocating, and I’m so sorry.”_

_“I—“_

_“You don’t understand it yet, but you…” she choked. Kym’s shirt was damp with tears. “You don’t deserve this.”_

The memory seemed so distant and so useless now.

“I’m not suffocating,” she whispered to herself. The apathy in her voice raised sirens in her head, but she paid no mind.

She gazed at the body beside her, then to her rose-dipped fingers. She couldn’t breathe. 

Her mind was on auto-pilot while she escaped through the window, and despite the warm summer air, her body was frozen over. It was cold. It was lonely. 

Doubts had snuck into her mind earlier, but now she was certain. This wasn’t what Delilah trained her for. She’d trained her to protect Lauren and the crown. To protect Ardhalis in ways her sister couldn’t. 

But she had always valued the security of Ardhalis and the crown over all else, maybe even above family. Maybe Kym had meant nothing to her in the end, a bitter reminder of the rest of her family’s deaths. Maybe all she wanted was a soldier willing to do anything for the good of Ardhalis. Everything was for the good of her Ardhalis. Delilah could have easily lied to her that day and every day after that to keep Kym with her. Lord knows she was capable of it.

And yet, Kym couldn’t find it in her to truly believe that Delilah was not sincere. Delilah may have lied to most, but even she couldn’t have lied to her sister that day. Delilah could have truly regretted saving her then.

Somehow, that was worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is set the morning of Pink Camella before Will came, so now not only was she leaving her home and family that day, she also found out that one of her closest friends was a traitor. 
> 
> It only gets worse from here everyone.


	10. Laminae II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Under different circumstances, Delilah would’ve grimaced at the thought of a child knowing how to end the life of another being. However, the world was not on their side. She had no other choice.

_Amidst the raging war, Delilah had brought it upon herself to pass on the knowledge she obtained when she was still training to be a royal guard. Lord knows she lost that opportunity._

_Under different circumstances, Delilah would’ve grimaced at the thought of a child knowing how to end the life of another being. However, the world was not on their side. She had no other choice._

_“Duty before self,” she would tell Kym. “Remember that.”_

_So she did. She engraved every syllable into her poor-drunken mind and watched her hands beginning to trickle with blood. It was self-defense, after all._

_Delilah should’ve been proud. So why was she in so much agony?_

_“I’m so sorry,” Delilah wailed one afternoon, her arms around Kym’s standing figure. Her sister was on her knees, head buried in Kym’s small shoulders and arms around her so tightly it was suffocating._

_“You’re suffocating,” she sobbed with so much agony that Kym couldn’t understand at the time. “You’re suffocating, and I’m so sorry.”_

_“I—“_

_“You don’t understand it yet, but you…” she choked. Kym’s shirt was damp with tears. “You don’t deserve this.”_

_Kym stood confused and wide-eyed._

_“I shouldn’t have made you like this.”_

_Delilah’s usually-composed figure was a heap of tears and regret._

_Finally, Kym managed to say, “Are you okay?”_

_Delilah never replied. She only continued to sob._

_And sob._

_And sob._

_And sob._


	11. Petunia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Again, Kym did not speak up. Will, like every time before, could not read her like he wanted to. It was like gasoline on forest fire.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Loop this: [ Sketch 2 - Forget About Me](https://youtu.be/PfED6BbjWAY)  
> Rush Garcia

She was back.

She was in his room, dipped in moonlight, standing only seven-feet away, yet seven-feet turned into seven eternities.

“I’m sorry.”

Her eyes didn’t meet his as they stood apart in the darkened room. She apologized with sincerity. However, sorry was not enough.

Sorry could not make up for the hours they had spent together in that garden. He could not take back every silent gaze he had saved for her in the rare moments that they were alone. Perhaps he would’ve preferred to return to such ignorant bliss.

Her return to Ardhalis for the first time that week had been less than pleasant. She was more on edge than he had ever seen her, and she made extra sure to constantly keep him at an arm's distance. The silent change had baffled him at first. Kym was not the type to be apathetic, yet nonetheless, she had been the most aloof when he saw her again. Now, he could understand why.

“You kept this from me this entire time,” he seethed, “You left me when you said you wouldn’t.”

Again, Kym did not speak up. Will, like every time before, could not read her like he wanted to. It was like gasoline on forest fire. 

“You made a _promise._ ”

“I didn’t break it.”

“Bullshit,” he hissed. “You’re a hypocrite, and I pity everyone who has ever made a promise with you.” 

Somehow in the in-betweens, his excuses changed in ways that knew how to hurt.

“Don’t say that,” she broke. He didn’t take it back.

She was not just a bodyguard. She was not just a captain. She was not just a girl who was skilled enough to protect her royal highness. She was someone trained with the ability to kill a man with accuracy and precision, which she surely had when she left. It was a fact he couldn't neglect. 

“You’re selfish, you know that?” Will fumed. 

“I know.”

“You’re leaving Lauren all on her own.”

“She’ll be fine. She has you.”

He scoffed. It was not his job to protect the Princess. His duty was to be her husband; the role of protection rested on Kym.

Evidently, security was not her only responsibility. 

No matter how noble the cause, none of it mattered when he was reminded that he knew _nothing about her_. Kym Ladell—the girl who was willing to die on command—was the epitome of an impeccable lie. And like a rose-tinted youth, he had fallen for every fabrication that dripped from her tongue.

He let out a humorless laugh. 

“Kym, you really are amazing, aren’t you?” he sarcastically bristled. “You had everyone fooled. I used to think you actually cared about me. What a dumb mistake that was, right?”

He couldn’t miss the way she flinched at his words, and for a split moment, he had regretted what he said. However, even he understood that he couldn’t take them back. He was far too infuriated to anyway.

“If you could just let me expla—“

“ _I don’t care._ ” his maliciousness startled both of them. “I don’t want to hear your excuses.”

He huffed, running a hand through his tousled hair in frustration.

“Did it ever occur to you that you’re hurting me too?”

She was about to speak again, but at his words, she faltered. She looked away from him and stood alone. Alone with the emptiness. Alone with the knowledge that she had amputated the self-love in her just to survive. Alone with the sadness of having to improvise the loneliness with regret.

“So you’re leaving me? Just like that?” he fumed. She froze at that, but he didn’t care. He was so _tired_ of people walking out a door that he never held open. How can someone say goodbye without ever saying it?

Nonetheless, his eyes softened when he took a deep breath. When he could finally see the candid and hurt expression on Kym’s face, shots of anguish and pain ricochet throughout his chest. An apology sat on his tongue, but he let it die on his lips. No matter how much he wanted to just graze her hand like he had before, he knew he already forfeited that right.

He let out a prolonged sigh, bringing his fingers to the bridge of his nose. A throbbing sensation played drums within his temple as his throat burned. His eyes began to sting.

They stood apart in harrowing silence, neither bold enough to speak again. 

Kym never moved from her position, and when Will mustered up the courage to glance at her again, he could see that he had already decided his sentence in their court of heartbreak.

He wanted to regret it all. He wanted to absolutely abhor her for leaving so willingly. Make her understand the anguish of broken promises that were left unresolved. Forget duties, what about being _human?_ Why was she so willing to let that go? Yet with every second that ticked by in their darkened abyss, the only hint of hatred he could scavenge was towards himself. 

It was not fair for him. It was not fair for her. Once again, they were both alone in the same sadness, two dreamers mirroring each other as they shattered everything they wanted. 

“I…” Kym started, almost hesitant to say what she was about to. “I think it’s time for me to leave.”

The air around him plummeted from animosity to despair. The indisputable fact that this might be the last time he’ll ever see her again had finally sunk in. No longer was he mad. No longer did he feel the burn in his cheeks or hear the whistle of flames. 

His chest churned and his stomach ached and writhed in the way it does when one’s heart cracks. Nonetheless, he only stared at her with blank eyes, his expression showing nothing.

“I think so too,” he replies flatly. He must’ve sounded so cruel right then.

Kym took slow and languid steps towards the door behind Will, maneuvering beside him. She didn’t look at him on her way out.

He heard the door click from behind him, but he didn't move. He was far too paralyzed from the bitterness and repentance to chase after her and apologize the way she deserved it. 

When the ice broke, however, his surroundings became too apparent and present. Everything felt so raw and absolute with her gone. He could see how his only light source was the sad glow of the moon, feel how the cold nipped at him like pins and needles, see just how empty his room was. It was unbearably numb and overwhelming all at once. 

There was no warmth. There was no sunshine. The night air had finally seeped in.

He was completely alone. Being alone was never hard until he met her. That bitter remorse set in once more like poison.

Will had driven her away. Of _course_ he did. 

He took for her presence for granted, treated her heart like splintered wood. He was no better than his father. Love was a shrine, and if it were not, then it was surely a scar. The imprints of a broken marriage left his body littered with wounds he thought had healed, yet he grabbed a knife and carved dangerous words into both his and Kym’s souls.

He wanted to change his verdict. Go back and apologize to the fragile defendant and admit that he was guilty. Maybe then, he would’ve received a lighter sentence.

However, that night, his punishment within their court of heartbreak had already been decreed. His silence became the judge’s hammer to immortalize their fate; she was but a tragedy that he entangled himself with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *slaps Kym and Will’s backs* you can fit so much trauma in these characters 
> 
> oh also btw this is set around like two months after Chrysanthemums


	12. Laminae III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two hawks flew over them, unaware that the territory they stumbled upon was that of bloodshed, yet they took to the skies in such a freeing way it made Delilah long to fly too. But how could she possibly be liberated under such cruel conditions?

_In the rare moments Kym could recall, she and Delilah made a habit out of going on walks throughout abandoned segments of their kingdom in a desperate cling to some normality._

_Most times, the strolls were short and contained, for if they wandered too far, they could very well encounter a too-hostile enemy._

_Keeping Kym close to Delilah would constantly prove to be a difficult task. Despite the emptiness within the towns, the girl would constantly find a small critter or butterfly that she’d then chase after. Delilah never quite figured out how Kym found life within the nothingness._

_Though the days stayed the same, there was a particular summer morning that had imprinted itself into Delilah’s memories._

_Two hawks flew over them, unaware that the territory they stumbled upon was that of bloodshed, yet they took to the skies in such a freeing way it made Delilah long to fly too. But how could she possibly be liberated under such cruel conditions?_

_Nonetheless, her bitter resentment for the world faded in an instant once she had caught sight of the light within Kym’s eyes._

_“Delilah, let’s follow them!” Kym had begged, grabbing onto her sister’s larger hands and urging her along._

_A stern ‘no’ was about to slip from Delilah’s lips, yet she lost the will to refuse once she saw the sunny-dipped smile that was planted upon Kym’s face. A part of her stubbornness faded away at the sight, and she allowed herself to be dragged towards the birds flying overhead._

_The two eagles landed on a large branch, opting to groom each other’s feathers. How lucky it was to have such little worries._

_“They must be soulmates!” Kym awed, hands still holding onto Delilah’s. Her mystified caramel hues glowed with such wanderlust._

_A piece of Delilah’s heart cracked at the sight._

_“Soulmates aren’t very rare,” Delilah responded, hands reaching to ruffle Kym’s hair. “Soulmates are just people who you really, really love, and you’ll love a lot of people in your lifetime. This applies to friends too.”_

_It seemed that the child considered it for a while, before turning to her sibling once more and asking, “Then who’s the person that’s really, really special?”_

_Delilah looked away from Kym and back to the two hawks, nestled closely to each other like a day-dream._

_“Polaris,” she whispered. “That person is your polaris.”_

_“Huh?” the child questioned, shooting her a puzzled look._

_“The star, I mean,” she reiterated. “You will only ever meet one Polaris in your lifetime.”_

_At first, Delilah had thought her words fell on deaf ears when she didn’t receive a response. When she glanced at her sister, however, caramel eyes twinkled in wonder that assured her that she didn’t ignore her—she was simply pondering._

_“Have you met your Polaris yet?” Kym asked absentmindedly, gaze returning to the two birds who sat side by side._

_How could Delilah respond then? Her heart couldn’t possibly ache more._

_“Yes.”_

_Kym’s eyes snapped up to her at such a response, confusion morphing into something she couldn’t name as her eyes widened in suspicion._

_“Did you meet someone at training and didn’t tell me?” the shorter girl demanded, shaking Delilah’s arm so vigorously she could’ve popped it out of its socket._

_“No, Kym—”_

_Whatever she had planned to say died on her lips when she took note of her surroundings again. How ruined the buildings were. How the water fountain right ahead had dried up and the edges were cracked. How the road a few houses down had been so heavily caked in dried blood that it looked ink black._

_Delilah glanced back at her sister, and for a moment, she could see herself making the impossible choice of a better tragedy._

_“Yep.”_

_She shrugged off Kym’s grip before walking back towards where they came without another word._

_“Delilah!” Her sister complained, dashing towards her in a frenzy of light._

_The sky was a brilliant blue that day._


	13. Crimson Rose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On her good days, she remembered Lauren’s arms around her the day she left as she prayed for her safety. She could forget about Will’s cold eyes as he tore her apart, and remember the concern and fondness in his eyes when she left for the first time. It was enough to survive, to keep her mind off the blood staining her hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi. 
> 
> I have nothing to say for myself. This chapter really kicked my ass writing, but 22 pages later it's done.  
> Canon details revealed post-40 won't be included because Cec and I wrote most of it beforehand and rewriting it is too much of a pain. Things are gonna go by smoothly after this chapter though so there won't be another long wait lol. 
> 
> -Ara

She returned to the Scythe colder and bloodstained, her recent mission completed even with her brief visit to St. Clair. 

Kieran excused her delayed return flawlessly. Their lies betrayed nothing of the plan, and the Leader let her off with only a slight suspicion. The other members weren’t so easily convinced, but that didn’t matter. She completed her assignment and was already favored. That was enough.

It had been a few months since Kieran introduced her into the Scythe, and slowly but surely, she was moving up in the ranks. The Purple Hyacinth’s recommendation could only get her so far, but with every new assignment, her reputation increased. She hadn’t failed a mission yet, and word was beginning to travel through their organization.

But aside from a few pleasantries, she didn’t talk much with the others. 

Harvey was still ecstatic about her joining, but even he had become more subdued now. But he could still go back to Ardhalis, to the life he built there. 

Envy was a heavy weight pressing against her chest she felt more and more these days.

Harvey had taken to exploring Phantazein with her, bringing her to different stores and restaurants whenever he could. He’d tell her about his family, the kingdom, and she’d listen and talk about different stories from before. It was a welcome distraction from both of their duties, and it made it easier to ignore the guilt already building up in the back of her mind. Those days were probably the happiest she’d been in the past few months.

It was on one of these occasions Harvey had finally brought up Ardhalis. They had been resting on a bench in a park after they had spent the afternoon wandering the alleys of the lower towns. She could tell a question was on his tongue, but he refused to speak it into existence. 

She turned toward him with a faint grin. “You’re clearly dying to ask me something. What is it?”

He looked taken aback for a moment, before reverting back to his hesitant expression. “Don’t take this the wrong way, I appreciate you being in Phantazein, I do. But, are you sure you want to be here? I know how much you care about Lauren and the others, it had to be hard to leave them behind like that.”

Kym let the smile fall from her face and took a measured breath. Carefully avoiding his gaze, she said, “I'm here for them. They can’t understand that the way things are doesn't work anymore. No amount of new statues and hospitals will change the fact that the nobles will always be on top, and everyone else is expendable. I want to change that.”

She couldn’t read his face as he thought over her response wordlessly, before standing abruptly. “Come on, we’ve still got some daylight. I think we can go through a couple more blocks before we need to head back.” Harvey smiled, and held his hand out toward her. She takes it, and lets herself be pulled along with him.

~~~

He had to leave for Ardhalis in the morning, so he walked her back to her room in the Scythe early that night. Inside the barrack 

She bid him goodbye, smiling as he turned away. It was gone by the time she opened the door to her room.

It was in a dark corner of the building, placed where they could easily ambush her in if they discovered her treachery. She needed to wait more months if she wanted to even own a house outside the Scythe base. No matter how valuable she was becoming, there was little chance they would even begin to trust her in the following months. It might take years before she could tear the Scythe apart inside out, even with Kieran’s help.

She moved to take her shoes off, her throat burning more with every action. She took steady breaths, and kept her face perfectly indifferent. Her shoulders were still squared, her jaw still tightened as she sat at her bed. 

_”I’ve seen your work before, but you outdid yourself with this one, Delilah. A face with control like that will do well in St. Clair.”_

She threw the boots against the wall, not caring whether or not her neighbor heard. She laid down under the covers, despite Kieran’s notes she needed to go over boring holes into her back. She didn’t have the energy for much else besides sleep at this point.

Yet every time she closed her eyes, Will’s image was burned in the back of her eyelids. Even days after their conversation, Will’s words still clung to her mind, plaguing her few dreams and ever frequent nightmares. Even now she’s losing sleep over him.

_“You’re leaving again?”_

_“You’re hurting me too.”_

She gritted her teeth and shook her head out of the memory. Curling into herself, she tried to collect herself in the silence. 

What right did he have of saying that to her? He wasn’t entitled to her, and if she wanted or needed to leave, she damn well could. It’s not like she even had much of a choice in this anyways. She was the best, so she was the only one who could do this. None of their feelings mattered when dealing with Ardhalis’s safety. He just didn’t understand that. 

Why couldn’t he have just understood it hurt her to leave as much as it hurt him?

“Will, you bastard.” The bitter words left her mouth as if he was there with her, and she pressed her hands against her eyes. “You were right, is that what you wanted to hear? Are you happy now?” 

Shallow breaths refused to enter her lungs, her heart was threatening to shoot itself out of her chest, and a pressure was building up against her eyes that was closer to spilling out by the second. It wasn’t fair. Even after everything, she couldn’t have anything stay.

The stare of an unread letter buried in her cabinet weighed down on her, and its heaviness was the final straw.

Kym let the tears spill silently out of her eyes, and she felt so, so _alone._ It would take years, they had said. Years of experiencing Ardhalis through Harvey and murders. Years of not knowing for sure if Lauren and Will were safe, of not being able to see them. She couldn’t pull something like earlier again, not that she would even want to. It was too risky, too much to lose for too little, they had told her that before she had left. 

She left them all. The closest people she could call family. Will, Lauren, Liam, Andrew, Lukas, Lila.

Delilah.

It was for the best. But for who? Not herself by the way she could barely breathe, by the way the teardrops stained against her sheets. Then again, it didn’t matter how it affected her. It was for the best for Ardhalis, and that was all that mattered.

The thought left a bitter taste lingering on her tongue. She forced a bitter inhale and continued breathing in lungful after lungful of nothing worth living for. 

She briefly wondered if her friends’ wedding had happened yet. The updates from Ardhalis were sparse at best, and it’s not as if she could write, ‘Yes, I am using this highly confidential messaging system used for updates about Phantazein to inquire whether or not my best friends have married each other yet.’ She wouldn’t be surprised if things were to change now. She wasn’t there anymore, so they could have moved it up to ensure that the two had the chance to be together. Maybe all this time they were just waiting until she was gone to pull through with it. 

She wished that the alliance would fail. She fell asleep hating herself for it.

~~~

She had to admit, compared to the Scythe’s, Ardhalis’s Gin Fizz was like flavored water. 

The top assassins were all together for the night, each back from different deep cover missions. She could imagine the threats they had used for the higher ups to allow it. But here they were, and god knows why, they had decided to throw a small celebration at the Grim Goblin for the occasion.

It was no surprise to either of them that Kieran was asked to show. Kym being invited as well, however, was something she didn’t expect. 

She lifted the drink to her mouth, resigning herself to her fate. A couple seats over, two unfamiliar assassins wrapped their arms around each other, drinks in hand and began howling lyrics to a song in a language Kym didn’t even know. They had split from each other the second they walked in, Kym heading straight for the bar while Kieran made a beeline for a table. Where Kieran was sitting, a woman strapped head to toe in leather was showing off an extensive knife collection that had his smile grow tighter by the second. Every corner in the bar was occupied by at least one assassin sharpening their weapons. Seeing them like this, she almost couldn’t believe that they were the Scythe’s best. 

Next to the pair, a woman sporting a long green coat shook her head and moved away from the sharpshooters, shifting toward Kym.

“You do know that people socialize at these things, right? Beth back there already claimed the job as the resident brooder. Even your boyfriend’s talking with Ash there.” 

Kym huffed out a laugh. “Oh, I’m not at all interested in Kieran, and I don’t think you can call what they’re doing right now a conversation.”

The other hummed as she looked back to where the two in question glaring at each other as they stabbed the table with knives, the force increasing with every knife. “You’ll learn soon that that’s as good as a full length conversation you can get here with us.” She held out a hand. “Belladonna Davenport.”

She prided herself in not reacting, and replied, “Kym Ladell.”

A grin spread on Belladonna’s face. “So you are the recruit I’ve been hearing about. I knew you would be an interesting one.” 

She turned and gestured toward the singing pair near them. “Those two may seem like best friends now, but the second they saw each other yesterday, they had blades at each other’s throats. Our lovely bartender is a sweet little thing that has the wonderful habit of affectionately poisoning every other drink.”

A cheerful voice sounded from the other end of the bar as Kym slowly slid the glass away from herself. “Up yours, Davenport!” 

“Moving on from that-” She laid an arm on the counter and placed her head in her hand. “I told you a bit about us, it’s only fair for you to give something in return. At the very least, how you found yourself here.”

She smiled slightly and shook her head. “‘It’s not much of an interesting story. Kieran tried to kill me, didn’t, and then he more or less kidnapped me here. Meeting Kieran will always be one of my worst memories, but I can’t say that I would be here without him.”

Belladonna stared at her for a second, before letting out a sharp laugh at that. “You aren’t fooling anyone with that story, darling. But I’ll let you keep your skeletons buried for now.” Her eyes narrowed almost imperceptibly, her grip on her arm tightening ever so slightly, and Kym immediately had the distinct feeling that every eye in the bar was on her. “Just don’t let it get in our way.”

After a moment, she forced herself to nod. In an instant, the atmosphere lightened and it was as if nothing had changed the past few seconds. Belladonna slid another drink toward her. “This was a riveting conversation, but I’m afraid the two idiots have reached a new level of tone deafness and if they don’t stop, there’s no guarantee they’ll get out this night alive. Watch your back, darling.”

Kym watched her leave and contemplated drowning in liquor before being reminded that aside from Kieran, she had no allies. 

She didn’t take another sip of her drink the rest of the night. 

~~~

She was laying on the floor of Kieran’s apartment, flipping through the files of information she couldn’t remember what to do with. Kieran himself was at his bed, occasionally thumbing through his own files as he polished his sword.

After a while, he stopped, sighed, and said to her, “Our tailors seem a bit impatient for our measurements. Always going on about how we’re growing too fast and that we need to stop by more.”

Kym barely glanced up at him, keeping her eyes on the meaningless words in front of her. “If they want us to stop by every day, they should at least make it worth the effort. I can barely read through these designs and half of it doesn’t match up with each other. Really, even if our schedules weren’t the mess they are, they shouldn’t expect us to update them regularly if this is what we get in return.”

He scoffed. “Well, you know how they are, and what they expect of our work.”

Kym suddenly sat up in feigned clarity. “Ah yes, I remember!” She cast the files aside and dramatically held a hand out. “‘Oh Kieran, there’s just too much information here! Oh Kym, you must format your measurements by the hundredths! Kieran, you scoundrel, you must stop wasting paper to flirt with the engaged seamstress!’”

“I wouldn’t go as far as to say it was flirting-“

“Roses, Kieran. You sent her roses with the last message.” 

He waved her off. “Flower meanings like those can be up to interpretation. Honestly, I assumed you of all people would at least know the meaning of red roses.”

She raised her eyebrows. “Oh? And here I thought they meant deep and passionate love.” 

“Oh, is that what they mean? I didn’t even realize.” His face showed no sign of remorse.

Files forgotten, she bowed her head. “Ah yes, my mistake. I should’ve known better than to assume that my extensive knowledge was known by all. Forgive me for assuming that the average person can compare to my mind.”

It was annoying how quickly Kieran could fake innocence. “Your greatness knows no bounds, and anyone would be blessed to be before it.” She narrowed her eyes, knowing there was a catch, but before she could interject, “I beg, enlighten me about the latest news with you and the apprentice. Your scandalizing affair puts my attempts to shame.”

There were only a few people Kieran knew who might have told him. Kym made a mental note to get revenge on Lauren for it later. “My faithful pupil, I regret to inform you there has been nothing going on between the two of us, and nothing will.” She smiled sweetly at him, if he continued.

With the hubris of a man not yet familiar with the experience of being thrown out a window, he kept going. “Ah yes, I see. My condolences for your recent fight. As you know, I’m more than qualified and always open to advise you in your relationship.”

“It slipped my mind to ask, but how are you and your seamstress? Has she stopped using your picture as target practice?”

She almost counted the frown on his face as a victory before he smiled horribly. “Perfectly fine, thank you for asking. Just last month, she pulled a knife on me only five minutes in.”

Kym fought to hold in a laugh. “Her self restraint is truly admirable.”

“I know she finds me irresistible, it’s just a matter of time before she falls completely for me.”

She raised her eyebrows, and deliberately looked away to grab the nearest sheet of paper. She laughed at Kieran’s noises of indignation, and found herself the most relaxed she had felt that week.

~~~

She met Harvey at the kingdom gates, news of his arrival having been made known to her the day before. She wrapped him in a tight hug which he readily returned.

“They pulled me out of Ardhalis for now. Guess I’m staying here for a while.” He laughed, but she could hear the disappointment hanging off his words.

She still felt selfish gratitude for having him back as a constant figure in her life.

~~~

She had rented an apartment close to Kieran’s after eight months. The scenery didn’t do much as a majority of her time was spent either on missions or in the Scythe’s district.

On her good days, she remembered Lauren’s arms around her the day she left as she prayed for her safety. She could forget about Will’s cold eyes as he tore her apart, and remember the concern and fondness in his eyes when she left for the first time. It was enough to survive, to keep her mind off the blood staining her hands.

Good days were steadily dwindling down as her months in the Scythe blurred together. Her and Harvey’s outings have grown fewer and fewer despite his return. She’s lost track of how many bodies she’s left behind. She wakes from nightmare after nightmare and cradles her head in her hands, wishing her vision wasn’t so red. Wishing she could remember the faces of people she used to know from anywhere else besides their death.

Everything for the future where Ardhalis would be safe, where Will and Lauren would be safe. Everything for them. 

She still ached for her friend's warmth, their laughter and safety. Kieran may be one of the closest people she considered to a friend right now, but he was more of a forced ally than anything else. She missed the security she felt around Will and Lauren, the certainness she had of their wellbeing.

More often than not, she and Kieran met up in one of their rooms to put together their reports, bouncing strategies they could include off each other. More information became outdated and was updated as time began to grow longer between messages.

Other high up Scythe members paid their meetups no mind. When they saw each other, Belladonna joked more than necessary about being careful not to end up with a child. But to the people who mattered, they didn’t care as long as it didn’t affect their mission.

Kym couldn’t do much to stop the whispers following her as she walked through the halls. She knew all too well how ruthless rumors could be coming from mouths with enough resentment. It was the same then, and it’s the same now. The only difference now was that they had enough courage to speak them in her earshot.

Perfecting her skill of throwing knives all those years ago were useful in those times when she felt coldest. 

~~~

His name was Derias. She had seen him at many galas Lauren had to attend, and he seemed like a good man. She rarely sensed any ulterior motives with him, and he never tried anything with Lauren in the time she’d known him before he got married. It had placed him at a higher standing than most of the other regular guests they were forced to see. Last they talked, he had a bill he wanted to propose to Princess Lila about trade agreements to benefit the refugee towns that have begun to fill up recently.

He died as quick and silent as she could make it, his wife’s body already dead beside him on their bed. Blood from their throats stained the walls and her gloves. 

She would need to wash them tonight.

~~~

Kym found herself in an empty Grim Goblin more often than she’d like. After a mission, her home was the last place she wanted to be. Whiskey wasn’t her taste at all, but it kept the what-ifs at bay. Gin fizz just didn’t seem strong enough to drown herself in.

One of those days, she found one of the top marksmen had beaten her there.

“Well if it isn’t the Scythe’s new hotshot in the flesh.” She raised her drink, and gestured to her to come sit next to her. “Come on, we just got a new import of liquor. You gotta get it before the vultures take it all for themselves.”

Kym hesitated, before moving to the seat. The bartender placed a drink in front of her, and she silently traced her finger on the rim.

“So I don’t believe we’ve been properly introduced. I’m Amara, I get paid to shoot things decently enough.” Kym let out a small laugh.

“Kym. I’m a little bit of a lot of things, but mainly knives.”

The older woman nodded, and took a sip from her glass. “I suppose you just got back from a mission?”

She dipped her head, debating how desperate she was to drink most likely poisoned whiskey. She didn’t particularly wish to die, but she couldn’t say that it didn’t tempt her.

“You’re feeling it, aren’t you?” Amara said after a moment of silence, the question more a statement.

Kym didn’t reply, focusing on spinning the liquor around in its glass. 

The assassin sighed, shaking her head. “That bastard king needs to give me a raise for the amount of times I’ve had to deal with something like this.” She drained half her drink before continuing.

“Let‘s say for the sake of the hypothetical, you were one of the best soldiers in the kingdom. Your kings and queens are wary of a growing threat, and they need the confirmation that nothing horrible will happen. And of course, you thought you could be that confirmation and survive the strain of being a spy against Phantazein?”

She faltered for half a second. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

Amara scoffed, before taking another sip. “Sure. Well hypothetically, if you did, dear Paris over there and I wouldn’t turn you in for two reasons.” Amara laid a heavy gaze on her, and Kym believed she should be commended with not wavering under her stare. 

“One, it’s more trouble for the both of us to go through. Anyone you’ve so much as looked at will have to be questioned to make sure they’re not a spy too.” She held up a finger and took another drink from her glass. “Two, despite all the time you’ve spent here, you have nothing that could incriminate any of us.” She paused to chuckle at the slight frown Kym had at that. “Trust me, I know more about what you’re going through than you think.”

Kym spun to stare at the assassin beside her. “Trust is something we can’t afford here,” she said carefully. 

Amara let out a bitter laugh. “Believe it or not, we all have a past we don’t want to remember, none of us just care to share it. But you’ll find there’s more people here that understand whatever situation you may be in. Which leads me to three.” She pushed her now empty glass away, and stood. “Don’t start thinking every one of us started, or are willing to pledge absolute loyalty to the Scythe now.”

Harvey’s honest eyes came to her then, asking Kym if she really trusted him.

She said nothing.

~~~

Her name was Cera. They might have met before. She couldn’t remember. 

She had woken up while Kym made her way towards her.

Strangled screams already haunted her nightmares. One more wouldn’t make much difference. 

This was all for the good of Ardhalis, for the good of Lauren, Will, and everyone else. They don’t have to do it because she is. 

~~~

“Harvey, can I open my eyes now? I’m pretty sure at this point, we’ve walked the length of the entire lower town.”

Earlier when Harvey had approached her asking if she was free for the day, she had assumed they were just going out into the kingdom as they always did. 

However, he had begged her to keep her eyes closed as he dragged her along, and was intent on making her walk a thousand miles blind. 

“We’re so close, just keep your eyes closed. It’s a surprise.” She let out a huff, but against better judgement, let herself be dragged. 

“And… we’re here! You can open them now.” 

She didn’t know what she was expecting when he had said he wanted to show her something, but standing in front of an especially average house was not what she had in mind. She turned towards him as he knocked on the door. “Harvey, what-”

She was cut off by the door swinging open in front of her, and an old man walking out to meet them. 

“Harvey!” He exclaimed warmly as he wrapped his arms around him. “You’ve grown into a fine young man, look how much you’ve changed since the last time you came! You must’ve grown almost half a meter since I saw you last. You’ve even brought a beautiful woman with you.”

They both flushed, Kym too stunned to speak and Harvey’s normally clear words coming out in fragments. “It’s- it’s only been a few weeks since I’ve been here, not much has changed, and there’s really nothing going on between Kym and I, and-“

“Ah, so you’re the lovely Kym my grandson is so taken with! Please, come in.” He took their hands and led the frozen pair into the house. Before she knew it she was sitting down at a small dining table, Harvey in the seat next to her.

“Please, let me get you something to drink.”

Her friend moved to help him. “Grandfather, that isn’t necessary, we-”

“Nonsense! You both look like you’ve walked a couple hundred miles. Please, let an old man treat his only grandson and his guest.”

Having lost, Harvey sighed in the chair next to Kym. “He’s always been like this, can you believe? Especially when I was a kid, he always insisted on taking care of everything himself, even though I was perfectly capable of helping him. We’re better off now than we were then, but he still does it. It’s frustrating.”

She smiled bemusedly, letting her eyes wander around the room. “I think it’s rather sweet he cares so much to want you to not work as much.”

He raised an eyebrow, sending a loaded look toward her. “Yeah, it doesn’t surprise me you do.”

She carefully averted her gaze away from his, letting her eyes catch a photograph on a counter near them. Letting out a dramatic gasp, she let a wicked smile spread across her face. 

“Harvey, is that a picture of you as a child?”

The look of panic was all she needed before she lunged for it, Harvey barely too late to stop her.

“Kym, don’t you dare! I swear, I’ll kick you out of the house myself-”

She dodged his attacks with unbridled joy, holding the frame in hand. “Look at you and your little cloak! You look so small here!”

_“KYM!”_

She let out a sharp burst of laughter, and danced away from him. Harvey’s grandfather was already standing in the doorway carrying a tray of drinks, watching them with a fond smile.

If she didn’t know better, she’d think she was back in St. Clair, with Lauren and Will close outside the door. She had just gotten off from today’s shift, and they were coming to see them any second.

Harvey finally caught up to her and snatched the offending picture away from her, hugging it protectively against his chest. She was still trying to collect herself as she trembled against the table with laughter.

Closing her eyes against the warm light, she could almost fool herself thinking she was home. 

~~~

Her name was Kacelyn. She was a representative from one of the Derose’s neighboring districts.

She was lucky enough to die unknowingly in her sleep.

Kym was getting better at avoiding getting bloodstains.

~~~

His name was Fedrick. Or, was it Fredric? 

He had opted to stay isolated in a tower, surprisingly self reliant, capable of making food behind his locks on the door.

She scaled it and climbed through the chimney, almost dying multiple times in the process. Ash clung to her clothes, clung to her lungs, nearly suffocating her.

But she came out on the other side, and brought his head to the leader. 

~~~

She couldn’t remember his name. Only memorized the terror in his eyes as she brought her knife down on his neck.

Maybe that was for the best.

~~~

Lauren would be hearing the news, as would Will, Lukas, Lila, Liam, Grace, and everyone else she knew. They would all see every body she left behind, the blood of both corrupted and innocent that trailed after her. After this passed, could she face them? After all the lives she’s taken in the faint hope that it will help Ardhalis, did she deserve to?

She wonders not for the first time what Delilah would’ve thought of her now.

~~~

They called her and Harvey in the early morning for a mission Kym refused listening to out of spite. With Belladonna and Kieran elsewhere, they were obviously going to be given the joint infiltration assignment. It was going to be in a territory outside Ardhalis, a kingdom part of the alliance in everything but name. 

It was so close to St. Clair, yet was just barely out of reach.

Kym barely paid attention to the briefing. If it was a normal assignment, she would’ve. Unfortunately, it seemed like she was only required to record the layout of the main castle and other information that seemed important. She figured any questions she could’ve had, she could ask Harvey later. 

After they were dismissed, she found herself walking together with Harvey and did just that.

“Ah, this is one of your first missions like this, right?”

She shrugged. “They found I was more useful in other jobs than with infiltration.” She let out a sigh. “But unfortunately, with more spies being found out, I guess they have to give out these types of jobs more than the others.” 

Of course, that was entirely due to her and Kieran, but she had no plans to tell any of that to Harvey.

“Anyways-“ she slung an arm around his shoulder and gestured vaguely. “The sun’s barely up, and I was only slightly listening to whatever he was saying. What exactly do we have to do besides from the obvious?”

A grin that was annoyingly familiar to her rested on his face. She was going to drown Kieran in the dirtiest lake in Ardhalis. “Trust me, you’re going to hate it.”

~~~

Kym tugged at the hem of her dress, cursing every god above for her fate as her and Harvey walked towards the servant’s quarters. The offending garment didn’t even reach her fingertips, and she hoped her murderous intent didn’t show on her expression. From the way Harvey grinned from beside her, she could guess she had failed. 

She glared at him, and inwardly mourned when it had no effect on him. “I resent the fact that you get the job that requires a full length uniform. You should’ve been the servant.”

He made no effort to hide his snickers. “Tragically, I don’t think they’d be willing to train you to be a knight when compared to me at first glance.” 

She rolled her eyes. “I could beat most everyone in St. Clair in both hand to hand and sword fighting, and they’re some of the best in Ardhalis. It’s stupid they won’t allow me to even apply here.”

Harvey patted her back in mock sympathy, and Kym knew then he was spending too much time with her. “Don’t worry, I’m sure in between your many duties, you’ll at least find a way to issue a new uniform bill for the entire castle staff.”

He pulled away when she moved to hit him and escaped through the corridor opposite from the one she had to go through. Grumbling, she gave her dress one final tug before imagining the many, many ways to make Harvey suffer after this.

~~~

Only Harvey would find some way to keep up their habits of exploration in an unfamiliar city during an infiltration mission.

Street lamps lined the sidewalk as Kym swayed close to the street before twirling back to Harvey. The stars were looking down on them that night, and she tilted her head back to trace their patterns. 

Harvey huffed out a laugh. “You’re going to end up hitting your head on something if you keep going on like that.”

Of course, those words only strengthened her resolve. “You underestimate me, Harvey! I’ve trained for years for this.”

She could practically feel the raised eyebrow he had. She sobered instantly when a hand closed around her wrist. She scanned the area around them, trying to find anything out of the ordinary that’d alert him, before relaxing and refocusing on the constellations. 

“How’s training going? Did they take you leaving tomorrow well?”

He shrugged. “They spent half the morning trying to convince me to stay. They say I could ‘eventually’ be one of the best soldiers in the kingdom. But Kym, you wouldn’t believe how they fight, even Sake could win against them! Compared to what you put us through, it was like fighting toddlers.”

He shook his head, and turned to her. “What about you?”

She couldn’t help the proud smirk fighting its way to her face. “The servant master almost cried tears of joy when I told him I was leaving, which was almost unnecessary if you ask me. I only requested uniform changes twenty times before he caved, and if they couldn’t prove that I’m the reason half the nobles lost their laundry, I don’t see the harm.”

That got an actual, full on laugh from him, and Kym memorized the sound before it eventually died down.

A couple minutes afterwards, Harvey’s gentle hold was still wrapped around her wrist. Looking down at it, she found herself asking lowly, “Were you always a spy since the beginning?”

He tenses. “That seems a bit out of nowhere. What brought this on?”

_“Don’t start thinking every one of us started, or are willing to pledge absolute loyalty to the Scythe now.”_

She shrugs. “I was just wondering.”

He hesitates as Kym waits in silence. “They found me in the outskirts of a less fortunate territory of Ardhalis, and promised they’d keep grandfather and I both safe and fed for just small favors. From the beginning, my tasks were normally sending them maps and the like for assassins to study. It was easy enough to fall into a comfortable routine there.”

She hums. “And then?”

He chuckles a little. “I met you, and it was like you burst into everyone’s life when you were needed whether they wanted you or not.”

She stops to look closer at him, but he just stares straight ahead. “You almost got me to grab grandfather and run away from the Scythe, live four kingdoms over and have no knowledge of anything relating to Phantazein.”

_Stupid, stupid, stupid, why didn’t you run?_

He shifts his grip so that his hand now holds hers. He smiles fondly, and Kym had never wanted more to scream. “I know I’ve said it before, but I’m really glad you’re here.” 

She swallows her own emotions and smiles. “So am I,” she said as she started walking again.

For a second, she thought she almost saw his eyes show the slightest hint of disbelief, before it was gone and he squeezed her hand once.

They spend the rest of the walk in silence, and Kym could tell if it was as companionable as before. 

~~~

A quiet knock breaks through her restless thoughts the next night. 

“Are you ready to go?”

In seconds, a cloak was thrown over her shoulders as she grabbed the few belongings she took with her, and opened the door to see Harvey on the other side.

She gives him a tired grin. “Shall we?”

The security was laughable, especially around the servant’s quarters. Kym almost stayed out of pity and the need to fix the obvious holes in their strategies. But in the end, the shortcomings helped them make it out of the castle easily in a matter of minutes. They started crossing through the woods to the extraction point. There, they’d meet their contact to help them cross the borders.

She walked with her head resting against her hands, staring at the cloudy sky and occasionally glancing at her friend next to her. His hands were both stuffed in his pockets, and the silence between the two was cold and unfamiliar. His gaze was decidedly not on her, flitting occasionally around the woods when it wasn’t focused straight ahead. It didn’t take long for her to realize why.

_He knows._

She walks at a more casual pace, falling behind him. Pursing her lips, she chances a conversation.

“So, what did you think about what happens after this?”

It takes him a second to respond. “What do you mean?”

“After this mission. We did well enough, so do you think they’ll send us on more assignments like this?”

He shrugs. “If it’s what they think is best, I wouldn’t complain if we have to do more like this.”

They carried on in silence, and every passing moment she had to stop her hand from inching toward her knives. “Ever wonder why they make us do the things we do, Harvey?” He stumbles for a moment before shaking his head.

“Occasionally, but every time, I remember that they’re doing this for us. After all, with the amount of power Ardhalis has, they could invade the other kingdoms and control everything if they wanted to, only taking care of the core nobles with no regard for the rest of the people.” Harvey’s brown eyes find her own, and Kym can’t find the innocence she was so familiar with. “Phantazein seeks to give everyone a fair chance, and though the Pentarchy may have good rulers now, it won’t stay that way. It’s only a matter of time before they decide that their own kingdoms aren’t good enough.” 

She hums. “You really think that everything we’re doing is justified because of the possibility that the Pentarchy will conquer everyone else?”

“It’s not a possibility. It’s an inevitability. They don’t care about people like us, never have, never will. You, of all people, should know.”

She doesn’t need to look at his face to know that it’s as blank as hers.

Her hands drop to her sides, and he stops in his tracks. 

In a single movement, he turns and lunges for her, blades in both hands. Kym jumps back, and her hands find the throwing knives at her sides. Three fly and hit a tree with a thud, only one able to take some skin off of Harvey’s cheek. He’s on her in an instant, unleashing his attacks in quick succession.

“How could you, Kym? I thought we were _friends._ ” His voice cracks, and she almost falters, but she grits her teeth and moves away from his blades.

She barely dodges them all, the longer of the two grazes her arm, and she remembers just how long he’d survived in the Scythe. 

“You fight for the same people who would throw us away in a second if it benefited them! How many people have died because of them?”

“How many people have died because of Phantazein?”

He laughs and embeds the shorter blade into a tree where her head had been in front of a moment earlier. “Countless lives. But it’ll be for a better future, so that others won’t have to follow our footsteps. Centuries of Ardhalis’s rule, and nothing has changed.”

She grits her teeth. “It can. It _will._ I have faith in them.”

He shakes his head, and looks at her like he regretted every word between them. “I guess you really don’t care about anyone but your precious William who didn’t even give you the time of day, and won’t. Not when he has the princess.” 

“That’s not true.” She jumps away from him, unsheathing a knife from her hip.

She sends a back swing kick towards him as he laughs bitterly. “Of course you’d say that. You have no idea how much they’re using you.”

He ducks, and closes the distance between the two of them. A knife is thrust towards her neck. She instinctively moves to the side, raising her arm to take it. Too late, she remembers the blade in his other hand right as it moves for her stomach. She shifts in an attempt to dodge it, but she already knows it’s too late before it buries itself into her side. 

“I’m sorry,” He said softly, guilt and remorse written all over his expression.

_Delilah would be disappointed in her._

Tears sting her eyes. The adrenaline begins to dull the pain in her side, but it won’t last forever. 

She knashes her teeth together and shoves him off her, the other knife gripped tight in her hand. With every move she makes, the blade finds another way to shift against her skin. Still, she manages to stand and point the weapon at her friend. He lunges for her again, but he’s one blade short, and she’s ready as she blocks it straight on. He’s distracted, and she’s able to drag and pin him down on the ground. Her side is howling from the toll, and she bites down on her tongue until she tastes copper. She raises the knife with her injured arm, the other holding down his left wrist and her foot digging into his shoulder. Before he can raise a hand to defend himself, she plunges his knife into his throat. A gurgling heap, she digs it deeper through his vocal chords to silence him. 

Breathing heavily, Kym shakily stands and leans against a nearby tree. She swallows back bile as she looks at the still body of her friend. Tears spring from her eyes as she forces her gaze away from him. Her arm screams at her, and the pain from her stomach is pounding at her head more forceful than before. 

She stumbles through the forest, the ground rippling underneath her. She needs to get to their contact, to Ardhalis. She’s so close to them. Is she? Maybe she took a wrong turn or two or five. But she hasn’t taken a turn yet. She’ll find the kingdom eventually. She has to. 

Parts of the ground begin flickering in and out of sight, and the edges of her vision turned black. Staggering, she finds herself leaning longer and longer on trees for support. She needs to run away. She needs to stay. She needs to breathe. She needs to die. Her legs give out beneath her, and she collapses unceremoniously on the forest floor. Bile crawls up her throat again, and this time she turns to the side to throw up. 

She wipes her mouth on her sleeve, and shakes her head. Too much blood was spilling out of her body and if she knows if she doesn’t get to the extraction point soon, she wouldn’t make it. 

Gritting her teeth, she drags herself up. Walking almost aimlessly through the woods, she almost blacks out too many times. She was running on the last dregs of adrenaline, and the next time she collapses, she knows she won’t be getting up on her own again. Her arm feels like it was about to fall off. If it weren’t the steady flares of pain, she would’ve thought it already had. At that point, she didn’t mind it if it did. She could tell already she wouldn’t be able to fight like she used to, so it had no use.

She pushes herself out of the forest, and stumbles into the clearing before finally letting herself lay down. She could almost see the silhouette of their contact, and absent mindedly begins making a cover story. A group of hunters found them, a small squad of knights followed them, an animal attack unlike anyone has ever seen.

_What did it matter anyway? Harvey was dead, and she was sure to follow soon._

Familiar footsteps came to a stop near her, and she couldn’t be bothered to open her eyes to fully see if it was the person she needed to find. 

“Kym?”

Ah. She smiles at the familiar voice. She’s lucky it was Kieran this time. Exhaustion finally wins over her and drags her eyelids shut. For a brief moment, she feels a bit of clarity. She did it. She found him.

_At least she wouldn’t die alone._

He’s saying something, she knows it, but she’s so _tired._ She found him though, and that’s what matters. 

He gets down to her level and she begins to hear fragments of his words. 

“-ong has it been—en hear m-“

She couldn’t find it in her to reply. She could barely think. She could only close her eyes and shake her head. Seconds later, she was lifted up bridal style. She would have appreciated the gesture if the motion hadn’t shifted the knife still embedded in her stomach. She wasn’t lucid enough to hide her cry of pain. He froze and while he wasn’t moving, she put the last of her energy into pulling him down by his jacket collar and whispering in his ear.

_“Get me back home to them.”_

Without waiting for a reply, she drops her arm, and succumbs to painless oblivion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the jumps in quality, this was written over the course of over a year. but aren't y'all glad we took a hiatus last chapter and not this chapter lol. See y'all in two weeks.


	14. Laminae IV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kym never said she needed Delilah to be amazing.
> 
> She just needed her to be her sister.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Music- When You Were Here](https://youtu.be/-Nu7jnKigUU)

_“I don’t understand,” Kym sobbed. “Do you not want me anymore?”_

_She couldn’t clearly recall the exact words of Delilah that day. All Kym knew was that she would be sent away, and Delilah would not be joining her._

_Was she not good enough?_

_“No, no, it’s not like that.” Her sister pulled her close, Kym’s tears dampening the shoulder she was buried in. “You know it’s not like that, sunshine.”_

_Delilah explained that it would be better for Kym. That she could find some semblance of peace if she were in Ardhalis._

_“I don’t want to go,” Kym complained, though her cries were muffled between her sister’s arms. She forced her way out of Delilah’s embrace._

_“I know, but trust me. You’ll learn so much more there than I can teach you here. They’ll protect you better than I could.”_

_“I don’t care about learning or being protected. Ardhalis is big and crowded, and you’re not there so why does it even matter?” Kym brought up her sleeve to wipe away her tears, though it did nothing to stop the downpour._

_Delilah didn’t reply. She only gave her a sorry look, which did nothing to alleviate the growing pain of being pushed away._

_Finally, she brought her hands up to wipe away the ever-falling flow of tears._

_“I need you to go to Ardhalis. There’s an opening to become their princess’s personal guard and no age limit, and I want you to take it,” she spoke softly. “It’s not ideal, but I know you can snag the spot.”_

_“But you don’t!” Kym wailed. “You don’t know if I can make it, and you’re sending me away.”_

_She hiccupped, glaring at Delilah with pure agony._

_“It’s not fair.”_

_“Please,” her sister begged. “Please Kym. You can’t grow as a person here. This is the perfect opportunity.”_

_Kym only shook her head, for she was too young to see the care behind Delilah’s decision. All she could understand was the look of apology painted on her sister’s face._

_“But you’re perfect,” Kym pleaded. “You’ve been with me this far, why not anymore?”_

_Delilah looked to the side, eyes as enigmatic as they were._

_“I’m not perfect,” she finally spoke. “And I was only ever barely amazing.”_

_Kym’s sobs died down to sensitive hiccups as she deflected every excuse that was listed to her like prayers._

_Kym never said she needed Delilah to be amazing._

_She just needed her to be her sister._


End file.
